Thank you all for your input. I had been getting similar input from a couple of my friends. It is so true that whether this is just a stage or not, he is my nephew and we should have as good a relationship as we can.
As soon as school was out, my 2 daughters and I visited them for a week in Cleveland. I was determined to be a good aunt to him...and I think I was. I was shocked when I first saw him (his hair is to die for, a little past the shoulders with beautiful curls and bounce, a knee length shirtdress, maryjane sneakers, and taupe nailpolish) but i didnt show it. I gave him a hug went our of my way to be nice and get to know him. He plays the piano some, and I also play, so I spent some time with him at the piano a few times and we had a nice time together.
We all went to an amusement park togehter one day and ALL had a wonderful time together. Even when dressed in boy clothes, anyone would and do guess he is a girl with his hair, delicate features (and often nailpolish). I am still worried for him. Its a cold cruel world out there. But i am proud of the way i have been able to chill out and just get to know him regardless of the gender stuff.
Its so nice to hear an update from you. You say you're proud of yourself, and you should be. It takes a lot of strength to see a flaw in your thinking and work to change it. Your nephew will benefit greatly from having your support.
I understand you being worried, and yes, it is a cruel world. My own son is very sensitive, feels deeply about things, feels like he loves everyone, hugs people who walk past in the street. When the big mean world takes its toll, I am scared he will be extremely hurt, maybe irrepairably so. So I can understand your feelings, but I feel that, like you, I must be on his side, and be there when he needs me, rather than try to change him.
On the upside though, attitudes are changing. People are starting to accept other people's differences, and I think the younger generation on the whole are very good at looking beyond the outer appearance. They are the first ones to pull us oldies up about racism, generalisation, sexism, homophobia and so on. So, maybe when your nephew is older, things will have improved and he won't have as hard a time as you feared.
