My two and half year old son goes to a Play Group. Lately he has stopped eating, he hits his little sister a lot for no reason and tends to bully younger children at home (his cousin and sister), throws terrible fits of anger. He gets punished at home, but he lashes out even harder.
One day at his class party I found out that he was being bullied. He is very quiet at school, and almost all the kids seem to take advantage of him (they are mostly older yo him by at least 6 months), for instance snatching away his things, or hitting him. He silently stood there with his head down and did not do anything or say anything - not even cry!!! When I went closure he just quietly cuddled up to me, and the clearly was very upset.
One day he came home with deep scratches and bite marks from another child. I just know he just took there and took it. I simply don't know how to help him defend himself. He is too small to be able to discuss anything, as he can barely make a full sentence let alone articulate his thoughts!!! Teachers do intervene when things get violent, but silent bullying like kid snatching away his things and or isolating him and jeering are not always noticeable.
Are there any suggestions on how I can teach or help my son to take care of himself in these situations, instead of depending on an adult to intervene?
Wow Jen that sounds pretty bad! I'm scared to think what this is doing to your son's confidence at such an early age - how heartbreaking for you to have to see this.
I hope that some of the other helpful people on here will have some practical advice for you, as my instinctive reaction is that 2.5 is way too young for him to be able to effectively stand up for himself and he really needs to be taken out of that environment. Is there a different playgroup - or some different childcare arrangement that is feasible for you?
Please keep checking back for some more replies, there are lots of caring parents on here that might have had a similar problem and be able to help more. Perhaps my reaction is an over-reaction, but my gut instinct wanted to cry out, "get the poor baby out of there!"
My instinct is the same, get him out of that enviroment and into another more suitable one.
To teach him how to 'stand up for himself' you need to spend time with him in the same kind of enviroment, so that your on hand to help him react in a more confident way because as you say he's too young yet to grasp it all just from chatting to him about it. Perhaps some role play with his teddies would help build his confidence up too.
But really, think about finding somewhere new for him to go to because he's so little to have his confidence knocked like that...and they do say what they learn in the first 3 years of life is what stays with them for the rest of it.
Is the teacher aware of this? If so, you should discuss with the head teach or management why the teacher allows this to happen. Complain to the school board.
