She has snuck out 3 times to spend time with her boyfriend. I just found out and I have talked with her extensively about this, about her future, about her morals, etc. She has a good attitude and says she is glad she got caught.

I am struggling with how to punish this. I want it to be effective. I would like the punishment to fit the crime if possible. I would like some advice from other parents on what they feel they would do or what they have done in a similar situation.

Thanks for the help.
April

Well my kids aren't even near that age, but I did that when I was 14. I did it because that was the only way I could see my boyfriend, and at that thats all thats on the brain. I would suggest that you allow the boyfriend to come over while you are there. I think punishment will do nothing but cause your daughter to become more rebellious.

Hi April,

Is there any reason why she can't meet up with her boyfriend at your home? I feel that her sneaking out is a cry for more freedom. If you trust her to stick to her moral grounding, and always be sensible and careful, then maybe loosening the restrictions slightly will show her that you do.

Perhaps its time to sit with her and the 2 of you together come up with some new, more mature boundaries that you both agree on, allow her to contribute.

As for punishment, if you do choose to ground her, or take away a privelege for a short time, make sure she knows what shes punished for. Is it her sneaking out without asking, or is it that she met up with her boyfriend?

All the best

Liz xx