Re: My four year old son gets very angry and becomes very agressive
Hi Lyndsey,
Boy, sounds like you have been working hard there. Your son is just learning to deal with feelings of frustration, and it looks very much like you are coping with it well, since your own methods are working at home.
His behaviour at school isnt your problem. Teachers have strategies in place to deal with childrens behaviour, and other than being supportive to them, you can't really help what your child does when he isn't with you. All you can do is let him know that you agree with his teachers that he must behave at school.
I would explain to the staff who deal with him that you seem to have cracked the problem at home, and suggest that they try the methods you have been using. It can't hurt, they need to find out what works, and, being his Mum, who better than you to tell them?
Re: My four year old son gets very angry and becomes very agressive
Hi Linsey!
I agree with Liz ... you're doing a good job and now the nursery staff need to do their job properly :)
Your boy is so lucky to have a mother that chooses to focus on rewards and hugs, I'm glad for him.
One other thing that came to my mind was perhaps actively encouraging him to express his anger and frustration in appropriate ways. If he kicks his bed and punches his pillow, for instance, that's praiseworthy because he's letting his emotions out without hurting anyone.
A child crying has a fundamental effect on the adult nervous system. Our hearts beat faster, we experience a classic flight or fight response when we hear a child crying. We just want them to stop!
However, we should try to recognise that a child has a fundamental NEED to express base emotions like sadness and anger, as well of course as happiness.
If a child is never allowed to express anger or sadness, that will have the potential to cause them severe emotional issues in later life.
Anyway like Liz said, well done on doing a great job and good luck with getting the nursery staff to do their bit!
