OK...sleep deprivation does weird things to you, every parent knows that, so think clearly for a sec... she is OK right?? You fixed it with kisses and an apology?

Ok, now its the learning curve, you know how crappy it is to get to here, and you dont want to be here again. This was your wake up call.

Next, you need to work on a strategy to GET THAT GIRL INTO BED! How about if she stays in bed on school nights she gets a sleepover? or hires a DVD? or gets to stay up late on Friday or Saturday night? Also, how about if you join a club or group so you can make some frineds... every parent needs a support network.

You were lucky enough to shake her, and not harm her, hang in there, you can use today to improve your parenting, you can do that with something almost every day...

jen

Hi there!

Tiredness! It has the most devastating effects, causing the most radical of personality transplants!

On the up side, your daughter will realise that Mummy has limits, and that she is not perfect! She will also see that Mummy can admit she has done wrong, and can say sorry. So, not all bad.

Our kids can pull us and push us so many different ways, not knowing what effect they are having on us. She has pushed your buttons, and you have reached the end of your rope. You know that whats happened here is the result of the bedtime issue, so thats the one the needs dealing with.

What I would suggest is, when she gets home, you both get a drink and a biscuit or something, and sit down somewhere quiet, no TV, for a grown-up chat, to evaluate what went wrong, and what we can do about it. Explain to her that she is tired, not because of homework, but because she has to have enough sleep, which is why getting to bed at the right time is so essential. Get her to agree to a routine, whatever it may be, and introduce some reward systems.

There are some great ideas for bedtimes, what works for me is, I warn my boys half an hour before, that it is time to start getting ready when clock reaches 7.30. When teeth and face and PJs are done, they choose a story each. The story is paramount, they always get it, unless they have been very very naughty, which is not very often. If either of them come down, they are told that this is my time now, go to bed. If they insist on coming down, I promise that I will take time from them tomorrow, putting them to bed earlier. And I ALWAYS stick to it!

As for being a monster, I think the opposite, if anything you're possibly being too nice! You don't have to be mean to be firm, and bedtime routines can be the favourite thing kids manipulate. They know parents are fragile and more tired later on, and they like to have that power. I think it might take a while for her to realise you mean it, since it sounds like she is in the driving seat where bedtime is concerned. So you will need to be strong.

Don't be too hard on yourself, you have made a mistake and you recognize it, and this is clearly a one-off, brought on by some extreme circumstances. Trust me, we have all been there, myself especially. I cant tell you how many times I have sat there in tears because I thought I had damaged my kids for life by being harsh, yelling, or someother terrible thing.

Try to enjoy your day, and make time for a chat with your little girl later.

Best of luck to you

Love Liz xx

Oh Liz!! You're good!

Good advice.

jen

LOL Yeah I'm great in theory!!!!! What I don't put here is when it all goes pear shaped and I make a complete pigs ear of it! That I would like to keep very quiet!

Just wanted to echo whats already been said...sleep deprivation is a form of torture, your not a monster, your just human.

dont feel bad, u rnt a monster.

it does sound like you could do with a break from ur daughter though...

is that something that might be possible?

i think you need to explore why ur daughter doesnt like going to/being in bed. is she scared of something?

like the dark or she maybe thinks someone will break in when shes asleep?

just a few thoughts.

willow
xxx