thank you for your replies,
my son came to visit for the day,
my mum and dad took my youngest out so we could spend time together,
we chatted a lot about how we could try and get on better as a family,
i asked him if he was coming home, he said no he was going to stay with his dad for now, as it was easier for him and he didn't feel so wound up all the time.
i must admit i feel like a total failier, i never expected this to happen, i miss him so much even through its much calmer in the home, i just want him home with me.
i know i have to respect his wishes and let him make his own choices.
i just wish i was his choice.
thanks again for replying
x debs x