Help! Our 1st grade daughter is really struggling this fall. She has started wetting the bed at night, which hasn't been a problem for years! We think this may be due to being very very tired. We have been putting her to bed earlier, restricting liquids, and have seen a doctor. Also, she is not finishing her work in school, and so is missing many fun activities while trying to catch up. According to her teacher, she is playing by herself more and more during recess and other free times. She is academically very bright, and is capable of doing work quickly when she wants to, so we think this is at least partially an issue of defiance. At home, we have power struggles daily. When getting dressed she throws fits if her clothes don't fit just perfectly, or if her favorite outfits are dirty. She also fusses just about any time things don't go her way. My husband and I try to stay calm with her, and usually send her to her room to calm down, but she continues to have these fits. I'm afraid that harsher discipline is only going to make things worse.

Has anyone else experienced these kind of problems in adjusting to 1st grade, or in other situations? I should mention that I went back to work part-time this fall. Previously I was always at home. My job does allow me to always be at home when she gets home from school, but I leave before her a few days a week. Also, she has started violin lessons and gymnastics this fall, so is busier after school. We also do have one other child, a 2 year old girl, but she is at a really easy stage (for now!) and doesn't take up so much time that I would think that would be an issue.

I'd really appreciate any advice or encouragement, as my husband and I are feeling like really bad parents right now!

Thanks!

i had the same with my 6 year old, although most of it was to do with me and her dad spliting up, then i got with my current partner and we all now live together (kids, current partner and me), my partners excellent with the kids because he can change to an outsider looking in more easily than i ever can as i've lived it since day one but after a few hetic months and my oldest paddying, throwing things, scream arguements, not doing anything she's asked to do basically he said to me on the quite to take time to give her one on one attention everyday which at the moment usually includes her home work from school but although simple it's worked wonders because in her mind she's still the centre of attention, she's learning more and her works improving at school and she gets praise for it (reward chart collects stickers through the week for good behavour then gets a treat for the car boot on a sunday if she's been good enough!) i know it's very simple and not a massive change but it seems to be working great for us so maybe you should think about one on one time doing what she wants to do for a little while each day as her reward for good behavour reverse thinking she thinks she's won but really all it's cost you is half hour a day for a stress free life!
hope this helps

Thanks, lisa,

I do try to spend as much one on one time with her as I can, especially after school. Perhaps she'd benefit from some time with her dad. We'll try it. I'd still love any suggestions or advice anyone has on the bedwetting. I know there is medication out there, but I'd like to exhaust every other possibility before I resort to that.

Alice

when i went up to bed i used to lift my son until the age of 9 or so, every night put him on the loo ask him to "do mummy a wee' then carry him back to bed, he was so fast asleep he would only wake a little bit, do his wee and fall right back to sleep,
i found it worth while just so he didn't wake up in the middle of the night wet.
might be worth a try just until shes over this little hicup.
x debs x