its me, the one with the original problem again. Thanks to both of your for your stories and encouragement. Now that i have cooled down a bit since posting my problem on saturday, I have had some time to try to think about what could be a solution here. I wondered about trying to get my daughter to think more about being responsible. For example, if all the kids in class are mucking about and being loud etc, that she be the one to say, cut it out and help the teacher once in a while. Or getting her involved in something where she can help the less privileged. For example, there is an animal shelter in our town and you can visit there and help out on certain days. She is interested in animals at the moment, so this might be something we can do, where she can see how doing something positive can help. I have the impression that a lot of my childs problems stem from boredom and she needs to learn some responsibility. However, i don't think this is the end of the story at all, not by a long shot. She is a kid after all. I think we just have to try out certain things and see what works.
After the party on Saturday where she had to be picked up in disgrace, we discussed what had happened, encouraged her to see how her behaviour had ruined the party for the little girl whose birthday it was and to try to imagine how that would feel. Then we made her call the family the next morning and apologise to them for causing the disruption. I think it is important to follow things like this up with an apology in some way. When I read this, it all sounds like i was very calm and cool, but believe me I was fuming and she had an early night in bed - with no supper.....
