Hi there, You have my sympathy. It is just the same in my house. We have 7 year old twins we adopted 3 years ago. They are constantly fighting and trying to control. You have to stay calm which is extrememley difficult and believe me there are certainly times when I am not. I have just started ..yet another..reward chart but this time made it more fun by using a picture of a squirrel, getting it laminated , then put some velcro on and make some pictures of acorns and putting velcro on the back of that. When the child behaves they get an acorn at the end of the morning and again at the end of the day which they stick on then at the week-end, depending on the number of acorns they get a reward...nothing big and it need not cost anything...a trip to their favourite park, a special story, making cakes, whatever you like. You need to stay in control of the child by saying no and meaning no, never mind how long it takes....I find this so hard and could easily give in, especially at the end of the day but am finsding they are not gradually getting better at learning no means no! The breaking things and swearing breaks my heart as I could never treat another person like this...a lot of our things have been trashed since the twins arrived and it proves very expensive but slowly we are getting there. Hope this helps a little and good luck..and remember to take a few moments for your self along the way..I often forget but it does help when I remember..lock yourself in the bathroom or stand outside for a few mins....and a glass of wine when they have gone to bed!!!

Oops, just re-read this after posting it and saw spellings mistakes sorry...kids are taking thier toll!! I meant to say they ARE getting better at no means no!!! Good luck once again.

ty huni,means alot that aint just me havin these problems,that there are other people out there experiencing the same,i just really want to do right by my kids,but i know ive got to stand firm with them,but as a mother i just want to give them the world ,but i know im failing as a mother by not teaching my kids respect and thanx hun ,i wish u the best too

well, you could either, :

. call super nanny
. control your kids by set up things like, everytime they swear they have to give up a toy
. do not give them the luxory of things, like going out, eg. restaurants, sleepovers etc.

Is there anyway that the children can spend sometime with different friends or family members as a break from one another may be good and brings about self confidence.Like adults who see one another day in day out sometimes it is good to have some space/time of their own,doing their own thing.

Make it clear that swearing is not good behaviour and treats will be withdrawn if it takes place.Be sure that they are not being exposed to swearing as children repeat parrot fashion, what they here.

When they are together get them to sit calmly and introduce a game.Get them all to agree to chose one,or if they can't encourage them to take turns and ask them how they would go about playing the game nicely.This will be a good way to practice the art of co-operation.

Hope this helps.