Wow, what a hard situation for you. I must say, you actually sound like a very loving father, this comes across very strongly from the way you write.
The problem is that your wife is so far from her relatives, but, I am a big believer that when you marry someone they are your family and should be number one. Does your wife need to stay for so long? 2 months is a very long time for a 2 year old, and like you are seeing, you are having to make friends all over again every time.
I'm sure your son will respect and love you as his father, think about all those fathers who don't live with their children, but still have good relationships with them.
Play with him, draw pictures, read stories, roll cars...all these things will build your relationship. Maybe you could do something alone with him that is "just for the two of you", quality father and son time. At bedtime, cuddles and a story, and maybe a favourite cuddly toy, are all helpful to settle a child. Try not to play with him before bedtime, make it a quiet peaceful time. I let my boys choose one story, and then have a cuddle, but not for a very long time, because i want them to learn to fall asleep on their own.
I was thinking the same as Liz really, it does sound like your wife spends far too much time away from home, she needs to build up a life where you live really. Its not really right for her to keep going off with your son like that. Also it sounds like you never get any time alone with your son, you need to be left to work things out for yourself and not just follow your wifes instructions. Some good quality time with your son so you get a chance to bond with him, maybe your wife could go out and build up a social life while you stay at home with him and get to know each other again.
You sound like a very loving dad, just short on opportunities to put it into practice.
My son only see's his dad twice a month as we don't live together, he does love him but its not the same, they hardly know each other. Try to get her to see you need to be included more in family life, encourage her to find local friends and not go running home so often or for so long.
You sound like a loving dad to me too. Don't worry. Children go through phases of prefering one partner to another. My son went through a phase a little while ago of not wanting to be with his dad. It was tough for him but just being a dad brought him around.
Just keep being the loving father you are. He will know who his dad is and as time goes on will grow out of the mummy phase.
Kids like routine and if this is changing he will cling to what he knows....mummy.
Try not to show your hurt and just be the best dad you can be.
hope it works out,
nicki
