I didn't have this problem, but I bet my parenting counselor could help you. She helped me with very serious problems. Dr. Aldort (the author of Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves) is likely to say that the problem was created by toilet training but she won't come accross blaming or judging you at all. She is very warm and always says that you are human and you are doing your best at all times, and that your child can handle your mistakes.
You can find information about her services on line. Read her book and listen to her tapes too. I think she talks about why not to toilet train on her tapes.
Meanwhile, put no pressure. Let him be his way.
Good luck.
I am a preschool teacher for almost 17 years and have done my fair share of "potty training". When working with the two's we resort to stickers, one m&m, hugs, high fives for every time that they go on the toilet. Also, by taking the child in and just letting them sit for a while every hour or so will result in an actual success sooner or later. Also knowing the child's temperament is important too- are they flexible and have reualr body rhythms, or feisty with unregualr sleep and voiding patterns? Having your 5 years old child around peers his own age that are already potty trained will help. Children can and will "socialize" other children by modeling and teasing. (cruel but true)- Your child will want to conform and be like his peers.
In school here in San Diego- children must be potty trained before going to kindergarten- unless they are special needs and have a specific IEP. Mnay Older teachers will start by having the child be responsible for themselves and their own bodily functions- try having him clean himself up with wipes etc... This is only a suggestion from a kinder/first grade teacher friend of mine. Also, make susre that there is nothing physically wrong with your son (something that he can not control) before your address this as a behavioral issue.
Good luck
Robin
You could try sitting him on the toilet with it on, so he associates the pampers with going to the toilet, I would try this for a week or two, then let him see you tip it into the toilet. Week three, you could try to remove it, during, ignore the messiness and praise him like mad.x
PS give him lots of fruit and veg, or a mild curry, then he won't be able to stop.
