I have a 12 yr old daughter that spends one day a week at her grandparents(my parents) house. She has an aunt(my 7yrs younger sister) that spends a lot of time there. She (my sister) is dating this 37 yr old guy she met on line and came to upstate from Louisana about a year ago. We know very little about this man, but I have seen him stare at my 12 yr old inappropriately, and it makes me feel uncomfortable. I have asked my parents not to allow my 12 yr old around this man alone. On christmas eve my mother let my daughter go alone with this guy shopping. He bought her about 100 dollars worth of cloths and nothing for my daughters sisters and brother. I was very up set over this, and said something to my mother and sister and made my daughter give back the cloths. Well my parents are saying I am being over-protective and sufficating my daughter. I am just hoping to get some outside in put on the subject.

Your are right to be cautious and protective - if you have concerns suggest you make contact with your local child protection agency to get further professional advice. I would limit contact with this man and ask your daughter how he makes her feel - it appears he maybe grooming/setting her up her for something innapropriate by trying to spoil her.

Regards

Andy

Thank you for the input Mr. Gill!! I just needed an outsiders input, you were very helpful.

I just wanted to let the parents out there know that I spoke to an Senor investigator and he ran a check on the 37yr old. The guy is clean but the investigator told me that it was great that I was cautious and that he wished that all parents were as cautious!

I would be just as protective as you are being. My child is only 3 but she is not allowed to be with or around anyone that I do not personally know well.

My advice to you is to check this guy out if you feel that strongly about the inappropriateness of him. If he is making you feel like this with your daughter, he might have made other moms feel like that to. Check the website for child pedophiles in your state. If he has ever done anything illegal with a child or have been accused of it they will have record of it. That way you will know either way.

I hope for you and your family's sake that your feelings are wrong.

I have checked him out with a state police investigator as well as call the state he is from and there isn't anything on him. The police from both states said that it doesn't mean he isn't a pedafile just that he hasn't been caught yet. Hopefully he isn't but I plan to keep a close watch and my daughter isn't allowed around him at all. Thank you for your input.

I commend you on your concern and wish all parents were as aware as you. I think running backround check are an excellent way to alleviate your fears. But you have to consider that this guy may be a normal, good guy who could have a positive impact on your daughter's life. Your sister obviously trusts him, have you talked to her about him?

I understand your caution because of the circumstances under which your sister met this man, but the vast majority of people who come together because of the internet are good people.

You said you've seen him stare at your daughter inappropriately. While this would make my blood boil, you must realize this was merely your perception, and without additional evidence, is next to meaningless. If you've seen him blatantly ogle, that's another thing, but a simple look or two can easily be misconstrued because of your apprehensions about him.

I support your decision to not permit her to be alone with him, but I think barring all contact is a bit extreme, and could drive a wedge in your family. Imagine how this would all seem to him if he had only the most pure intentions. Just some food for thought.

D

I understand what your saying, but he more than ogled my daughter. He tried things like smackin her butt and such. He is now out of the picture anyway. My sister caught him messin around with a younger girl, (not my daughter). He admitted cheeting on her so they are over.

always go with your gut....end this!