I am so furious with my 3 year old son. He is so whiney every day. He will not dress himself, he will not put his coat on. He screams and cries and says that he can't. I know he can, because I've seen him do it before. I was running late for work this morning and he wouldn't put his coat on, because he said he can't. I finally walked out the door without him. I started my car and went back inside to find him still crying and dragging his coat. Why is he so lazy? He will not make his bed, pick up his toys, or get dressed without whining. It gets me so upset, because his twin sister has been doing all of these things for almost a year now. What is his problem? HELP!!! I can't listen to him whine for another second. He gets irritated by his sisters when they are playing or singing. He yells at them to stop. Why is he doing this?

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check out this book by john gottman- i have posted on it before! many MANY MANY a time! it sounds like your son is having some trouble with feelings of being frustrated and to help him you have to get to the bottom of why he feels this way. thats where he needs your help as a parent to 'coach' him through these feelings and help him (and You)to learn why he feels this way so often and learn some good ways to deal with it. it can be very effective even with kids this young. it might sound a bit complicated or convaluted but the book sets it all out clearly.

The first chapter of the book has an example of almost exactly the same situation you had with your son about not wanting to go and refusing to put his coat on. It outlines ways to talk to your son so that he feels listened to and understood, and also how you can work the situation to get your son to be co operative and feel like he and his feelings are being acknowledged to at the same time, because his feelings must be affecting him quite a lot to be acting this way all the time.

i highly recommend the book, it includes quizzes and tests you can do to see what kind of parent you are and where you can improve to help your child, i have only good things to say about the effects on my family from putting to practice ideas and strategies in the book. Good Luck!