Hi advice needed please

My 4 year old son who went up into reception this year has been misbehaivng in the dinner hall alot. He will kick and hit dinner ladys and is then removed by a teacher or headmaster he then continues with a massive tanturm and refuses to calm down. the teachers said that he doesn't have very good social skills as he seems to lose control and have these tatrums when he goes to the dinner hall where there is plenty of children and not so many teacher. if i ask him why he's being naughty at dinner time he just says he is scared but wont say what of. any advice on what to do next would be great.

thanks
gemma

Hi Gemma,
This must be a nightmare for you. The only thing I can suggest is maybe talking to your GP or your son's health visitor about this problem, I'm sure that they will be able to give you some guidance. Maybe he has some underlying behaviour problem?? I'm no expert but seeing a professional would be my first port of call.
Good Luck.

Hi Gemma, I work in a primary school reception class and I know how much children of this age find the noise a commotion of lunch time together in the dinner hall distressing. For the first two months our littlies stayed in the classroom for lunch with myself (trained nursery nurse) and the class teacher. Even when they did go into the hall we went with them and sat with them until they were used to the noises etc. If your son does not like going in because of the noise, I'm not surprised he is kicking off in frustration. Is it possible you could collect him and take him home at lunch time? If not have a word with the school and suggest he sits in a quieter area for his lunch. Is it a very big school? Maybe one or two of the older children could sit with him. I'm a bit disappointed that your son's school are responding to your son's actions in this way without looking for the reasons, he is only 4 for heavens sake. I wish you luck. Let me know how you get on.

hi

thank you both for replying.

I'm going to go in the school monday and tuesday to observe what happens myself as i am at work for the rest of the week.
it's been making me angry that they are punishing him for being scared and not trying to find out what the problem is. he is also the youngest in this year and i dont think they realise this, most of the other have and are trying 5 before xmas and my son doesn't turn 5 till july next year. He's been okay today though, i told him last night and this morning that if he feels scared remember that he's mummys little soldier and he doesn't need to be scared.

It is a very big school and there is alot of noise and people in the lunch hall.

thanks again for the help.

Hi Gemma,
Just wondering how you got on on Monday and Tuesday. I forgot to ask, how is your son's behaviour the rest of the time? I only ask because it will highlight where the problem lies for him, and how it should be dealt with. Just a word of caution, children often behave very differently in school when their parents are present, some are more clingy, some are more tearful, some are more disruptive and a handful of children don't seem to notice if the parent is there or not! Looking forward to hearing from you.

Where I live "day mother" care in quite popular, especially for little ones. A granny type figure or a neighbour collects the kid just for lunch then takes him back to school afterwards. At that age they need a break in the middle of the day from the hustle & bustle so this system seems too be better for some kids than directly being plunged into a whole huge long day of being with others.