Hi there .... I really don't know were to start, I'm at my wits end.

I have an almost 16 year old boy who is failing at school, we have been trying to work with him since Jr. High. He is very smart but refuses to do any kind of school work or with chores at home. Believe me, we have tried it all, he has even gone to counceling but nothing seems to be working.

He says that he doesn't care about anything, he doesn't care if he lives or dies, he hates the system and the posstions that people are forced into and says that he doesn't care about his future cause it's all in vain. He has the smarts to be anything and knows that he is messing up his future but he doesn't care.

He is not depressed but angry at everything and everybody, disrespecting any kind of authority especially when it comes to his Father.
Over the last few weeks I have been taking him aside to try and get to the bottom of this behavior and apparently he has some issues with his dad.
We had an open talk the other night with our son and my son screamed at his dad ...saying that my husbands drinking problem was the fault of everything...( as in dad never doing anything with him or us as a family and always being drunk ).

I know he is going through an emotional time and I have tried to talk to him about it but all he says is that he hates his dad and doesn't care about anything.

What can I do to help ??? My son loves me and listens to me but he still doesn't care.

I'm thinking of maybe taking him to a psychologist to have him examined mentally but don't know if this will help .

Does anyone have any suggestions ??? Please ... I'm affraid he lost for good

Hi,
I was once in your sons place. I know how he feels. When I was there I dropped out of high school, went with the wrong crowd and did stupid stuff. Wanna know why? Because even though I told my parents what was wrong nothing changed. Nobody cared enough to help me through my problems. But that isn't his case. He has a caring mother who wants to know what to do to help him. I don't think therapy just for him would do much good if things aren't changing for the good at home. Family therapy is the best way to go and individual therapy. Don't let medication be the first thing they try to give him because with a kid his age it could only make him worse. (I know from experience). Give him his space, but let him know you are there for him. You are doing the right thing with talking to him the way you do. He does care about his life but he just may not realize it right now. Just let him know how much you love him. Hug him as much as you can. YOU are doing a good job. No child is broken beyond being fixed. You haven't lost him yet. It may take a while but it can get better.
I am now 20 years old. I am married with 2 babies and I am a good momma. I recently went back and got my GED. There is always hope.

Thankyou Theresa ...It's wonderful to hear from someone who has gone through similar things .... I really appreciate you reply.

I sat around last night thinking of how I could further help my son since his dad doesn't show any interest in changing anything about him or the situation ... soooo, since my son is failing every class and isn't getting any credits for this semester, I have decided that I am going to pull him out of school today ... I have talked to the school psycholigist and since his attendance record is really bad ( only 2 more days until he gets booted from school )it's better if I re-register him after christmas break for the new semester.

I have talked to my son and it seems that he really is going to try and bring up his grade next semester and we are also looking into some correspondence classes to get back the credits he has lost .

I really feel that I need to spend more quality time with him to let him know that I really love him do care ... give him lots of hugs and encouragement just as you said

I'm also going to try and spurn his interest in things by buying some scientific and health related magazines etc ... and letting him read these and then asking if there is anything interesting that he would like to share with me.... it might help him get another perspective or think about his future.

Anything is better than nothing ... and if he doesn't want to go back to school, well, it's not the end as you know... there's always time to go back .

Many thanks again, and congratulations on a job well done ...