How close is this friend? It doesn't sound like she's necessarily the kind of friend you want around anyway if she is ignoring the fact that her daughter terrorizes your children and trashes your home! I met a girl at the park about a year & 1/2 ago who has children almost the same age as mine (I have a 2yr old and a 3 1/2 yr old). Her daughter sometimes bullied my daughter, but she did not stand for it and encourages kindness, sharing and love between the kids. THAT is who you want to be around and have around your children.
You don't have to necessarily have it out with her or anything, but you could just start cutting down on visits and be "busy" much of the time. The alternative is to sit down, without the children around, and really talk to her openly and honestly about your feelings. Maybe even write a letter to her sharing your concerns but also your desire to continue the friendship.
It's really not ok for her to allow her child to be wild and mean to your kids and disrespectful to your property. You are being too nice. Friendship should be open and respectful and caring if it's worth keeping.
Hi,
I have just read your message & felt i must reply straight away! I am apalled at your story, not because of the child, but because of her parents
attitude towards her bad behaviour! I assume this parent either a) does not know how to deal with this type of behaviour, or b) really doesn't think theres anything wrong in whats she's doing, but if you want to continue your relationship with this person & her child, i suggest ( actually i urge you)! take a positive approach & step in to acknowledge the child's bad behaviour. Im guessing that your friend may pass it off as nothing because no-one lets her know it's not acceptable, & the longer you keep quiet, the worse it will get, remember it is the child who is suffering here as she won't ever know right from wrong! I am sure that if you step in & tell her child what she is doing wrong, both child & parent may at first be shocked, but if your a true friend, the mother will respect your advice, & you may just make her realize that it is actually her job to tell her child that this kind of behaviour is unacceptable. I meet with a group of friends each week that i have known since pregnancy, & i would not hesitate to tell thier child of thier wrong doing, we all appreciate & respect each others advice throghout parenting,& im sure your friend would too.Do what you need to do,be assertive, stay calm, & be proud. x
