I am a divorced parent that has remarried , I have a 8 year old son that loves to play hockey. I have a ex husband who doesn't find the need to get our son to hockey. The last straw was today at 5:50 am my new husband went to pick up my son to take him to hockey and my ex would not give him to him , he said that he was still sleeping. This time on the ice was very important for my son. He has had a chance to play with the bigger kids and get pulled up into a higher division. My ex husband always puts him self before our son. He then got my son to call me and lie to me about why he missed hockey , my son could not tell me he had to ask his dad why he missed it .
I do not know what to do , I want to tell my son to stay with his comitments that he said that he was going to be part of a team then that is what he has to do , but I don't want to make him choose between hockey and his dad , or more important between me and his dad. Any help would be great
I too am dealing with an estranged partner who is fully selfish. Because your son is still young, you still govern over the major decisions in his life. The issue here rests with his Dad. If his Dad cannot be responsible for keeping your son's commitments, and he doesn't have the insight to see that it's important to your son, and that he relies on a parent to wake him, and get him to his games, the answer (to an extent) is clear: you need boundaries of steel when it comes to how far you will allow this person to hurt your child and affect your family. He is also disrespecting you by not allowing your husband to pick up your son- it's a power struggle. So, your ex-husband should not be able to have your son on the days when he has places to go, or commitmnets to meet. Perhaps then the relationship would be less strained. You know how the saying goes: if you want it done right you better do it yourself.
