i'm worried. My sister has her own method of making my nephew sleep first she rocks him to sleep and puts him in his crib in his very own room and when he cries in the middle of the night even if it becomes screams and no matter how long the duration time she doesnt even peek in on him not even let him hear her voice or ANYTHING. My assumption is that he falls back asleep of pure exhaustion or fear of being alone. This really bothers me let alone I end up crying in the next room listening to his cry, it hurts. I really need to know if this is healthy or right or something. I need to know facts so I may present it correctly to her if its said to be in anyway unhealthy for him. PLEASE ANSWER.

Hi you obviously love your nephew very much to be this worried. If your sister was ignoring your nephew when he is first put down to sleep and she knows he does not need anything (ie, changing, feeding, winding etc) then I can understand her trying to ignore his crying because it is probably seeking attention. However, in the middle of the night he is very possibly wet and uncomfortable or in need of a feed (you have not said how old he is) or he may be having a bad dream. Tackle your sister by asking her why she is ignoring him in the night, and suggesting he may in in distress. Try to be diplomatic but let her know you are only asking because you are concerned for her son and that you love him very much. Good luck, let me know how you get on. If he is now in his own room perhaps you could go and see in in the night just to check on him?

Actually I have two answers - You seem to really care about your newphew and that is good - but are you going to question every decision made by your sister for the rest of the childs life? Basically, your sister is the childs parent, and you may have strong opinions about how to raise a child, but I would advise caution when addressing how your sister raises her child.

oh trust me CAREFUL is exactly what I am about this situation. That's why this forum is the very first time i have actually shared my thoughts. I don't want any negative feelings or reactions of any kind to become of MY thoughts that is why I ask for help and ask for them in facts. I think this situation just needed to be let off my chest. Although I am serious about finding out if it's okay or not. I ask you to please read my response to the message before you. Thanks

okay first he is almost two and if he takes awhile to put him down she eventually lets him fall asleep that way. and even if he had his own room if she even found out that i peeked in on him she'd HAVE MT HEAD. Like i said earlier he is almost two years old and I am older than her and have two girls age 12 years and 3 years old so you could see that I understand parenting etc. I have just never seen this method.

sounds like she is trying the controilled crying method although i would have thought that looking in on the little chap was part of this! is your sister easy to talk to? It can be a very sensitive issue so it can, telling another woman how to raise their child although you mean well and only have your nephew's best interests at heart i would proceed with caution. she actually may think that she is doing the very best thing. Try talking about how you managed with your children when they were unsettled in the night,and how hard you found it (no parent finds it easy do they) she may feel she is the only one who has ever struggled and may find it hard to express that in words without feeling a failure. she may open up to you especially as you say she is your younger sibling.Do you live with her? maybe you could offer to help her out by getting up to check on him, she may be relieved! does she have a partner? what does he think? I hope things go well for you.