Thanks again for your comments,I will take them all on board! My son is having difficulty with confiding in his friends about the split as,amongst other things, it involves his fathers long term (until 3 weeks ago unknown to me) use of internet porn. As you can guess along with the tremendous anger, he feels totally ashamed of his father and cant share this with any of his friends for obvious reasons.I do appreciate that I need a shoulder to cry on too and luckily I have very understanding,supportive friends who have carried me through the last weeks and no doubt will continue to do so for some considerable time to come.Sadly, a meeting I had with my husband last friday turned violent and the police became involved (my son wasnt there at the time thank God).So things seem to be deteriorating further at the moment.One good thing though,my son says the house is more relaxed and fun since Dad went!

Hi Jenny

God you really are both going through it. I can certainly understand about your son not wanting to confide in his friends, as like you say he is going to feel ashamed and I suppose probably worried in case it gets out as well. As long as your son knows it was nothing to do with him and that he can always talk to you, it's really a case of taking things slowly one day at a time.

I bet you are glad that your son was not in when your husband came round the other night, what a nightmare that must have been. I hope you are okay. Next time your husband suggests a meeting, I would really ensure that you have it in a public place with someone else there with you, as you need to make sure you are safe.

He really is doing himself no favours with regards to salvaging his relationship with your son though, so I would just keep looking after yourself and your son.

Your son will do what he thinks is right, when he feels the time is right.

My thoughts and prayers are with you both; I can't even begin to imagine what things must be like for both of you. Keep strong.