I would not call yourself a pushover. You are just a mother who cares about her child and wants what is best. I have been in your situation before. I was a stay at home Mom with a newborn and a 2 and a half year old a few years back. My advice to you would be to create a routine with your son that you do everyday and stick to it religiously. I know that this is hard with a baby, but maybe you could develope a playtime with your little guy when the baby is asleep once a day. Such as playing with his favorite toy or reading, etc. The important thing is to just do it everyday at least once for at least 30 - 60 min. The rest of the day you can have him help you take care of the baby by getting diapers or burping, etc. If your son complains about not getting the attention he wants you can tell him that you will have your "Mommy/Son time" soon and that he needs to be patient and wait his turn. If he continues to throw a fit, do not give in. When my son throws tantrums, I put him in his room or least favorite part of the house and have him sit there until he has been quiet for 4 minutes (1 minute for each year of his age). Sometimes it takes a few tries but he eventually goes off and does his own thing. At four years old they have not figured out that the universe does not revolve around them and that you are not resposible for making them happy 24 hours a day. Whatever the case, do not beat yourself up for it. You are a good Mom because you care enough to get advice!