I'm a single parent of an 11yr old. been divorced for 8yrs & have raised him alone. The problem is that he's recently started lying to me, it's little things like forgetting to bring home his homework book because his teacher had placed a note in there for me, or that he's had a bath when he hasn't or bringing home toys. I've spoken to him often about being honest & the consequences of lying. I haven't spanked him in ages and give him everything he wants (playstation, computer etc). My work takes me away from home at least once a month for a few days and I then have to rely on good friends to take care of him. I'm so frustrated at this moment and have even threatened to send him to boarding school if he continues this behaviour. He has no contact with his father - he chose to cut his father out of his life earlier this year & my relationship with the man was equally bad so I let it happen. Please help....PS he still ocassionally sleeps in my bed as well and gets upset when I have male friends coming over.
HE WANTS YOU. TAKE TIME OUT AND SPEND SOME TIME W/ HIM. TALK TO HIM. MATERIAL THINGS MEAN NOTHING.YOU GET HIM EVERYTHING HE WANTS BUT YOU. YOUR A SINGLE PARENT AND YOU WORK ALL THE TIME I CNA UNDERSTAND THAT BUT HE WANTS TO SPEND TIME W/ MOMMY. ALOT OF TIMES SINGLE PARENTS OR PARENTS IN GENERAL THINK THAT WHEN THEIR CHILDREN GET OLDER THEY SHOULD BE MORE INDEPENDENT AND YOU CAN UN ROLL YOUR LEASHES A BIT. BUT WHEN THEY START GETTING OLDER THAT'S THE TIME YOU NEED TO TIGHTEN UP ON THE LEASH. DON'T THREATEN HIM TO SEND HIM TO BOARDING SCHOOL. YOU KNOW WHAT THAT DOES? IT VALIDATES WHAT HE ALREADY THINKS, THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO BE BOTHERED. NOW OF COURSE YOU ARE A HARD WORKING PARENT THAT WANTS THE BEST FOR HER CHILD BUT TAKE IT FROM ME THAT'S NOT WHAT GOES THROUGH THEIR HEADS.PUT YOUR ARMS AROUND HIM AND REASSURE HIM THAT YOU LOVE HIM.LET HIM SLEEP W/ YOU SOMETIMES. EVENTUALLY YOUR GOING TO BE THE ONE YEARNING FOR THE ATTENTION.TAKE IT FORM A SINGLE MOTHER. SPEND MORE TIME BEING A MOTHER INSTEAD OF BEING THE MOTHER AND THE FATHER. IT'S SOMETHING WE JUST CAN'T DO. LEAVE THE DOOR OPEN FOR HIM TO COME TO YOU AND NOT HIS FRIENDS ALL THE TIME THAT'S WHERE WE MAKE MISTAKES. I HOPE THIS HELPS.
