hi there.
i'm at my witts end. my 12 year old daughter has always been so sweet and wonderful, although a bit ditzy (like her mother) but lately she's doing things i don't know how to respond to.
for example. she is failing 2 classes, she doesn't turn in assignments! she does the homework, her dad and i check it! and when she turns it in she gets A's! but she has a F because she has only turned in 2 out of 8 assignments in one class! we've had the discussion with her time and time again how important it is. she just doesnt' seem to care about anything, i take things away from her, ground her. and reward her for a job well done. she doens't seem to care about any of it. she has just a blah attitude and now is starting to lie to me. Ive tried a psycologist, i've tried punishing, i don't know what to do!
she just doesn't seem to care about anything! ugh.

Hey, I'm new here but reading your post, I thought I could offer u some insight. 12 years old sounds like the age she would be turning into an adult. Key words = turning into. My point is, she's at that trouble-making stage when things really don't seem to matter. As she grows up she will discover what matters to her, and no amount of telling will help. I think it's a decision she has to make within herself. There's a point when parents have to stand back and let them drive their lives. Ambition at the age of twelve is a big ask, if you ask me. They don't even know where they're going at that time, but are old enough not to keep doing homework like robots in Primary school. It's hard for you not to push her, but maybe she has to learn the hard way. Hope it helped. =)

Leanda

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Replying to:

hi there.
i'm at my witts end. my 12 year old daughter has always been so sweet and wonderful, although a bit ditzy (like her mother) but lately she's doing things i don't know how to respond to.
for example. she is failing 2 classes, she doesn't turn in assignments! she does the homework, her dad and i check it! and when she turns it in she gets A's! but she has a F because she has only turned in 2 out of 8 assignments in one class! we've had the discussion with her time and time again how important it is. she just doesnt' seem to care about anything, i take things away from her, ground her. and reward her for a job well done. she doens't seem to care about any of it. she has just a blah attitude and now is starting to lie to me. Ive tried a psycologist, i've tried punishing, i don't know what to do!
she just doesn't seem to care about anything! ugh.

Sounds pretty familiar although our daughter is 15. She told us she was studying for a test round at a friends house. Anyway the two girls sneaked out to the cinema with their boyfriends. Unfortunately they were spotted by another parent. We grounded our daughter. In addition, my wife who works in a school, made her write an essay on the importance of homework.

I'm a 7th grade school teacher. I make my students keep up with a table of contents within their notebooks. It is on bright pink paper and they must number their papers and list the assignment on the pink papers. I check periodically (without announcement) to see if they have their notebooks in order. They actually help me to stay on top of things. I have a class secretary to help me with it and I test them on the table at the end of the grading period. I reward them with candy, extra credit points, free movie day.

I have my assignments on a website. In fact, my entire school has their assignments on the same website and we post them every week. This has helped to cut down on 0's. If you request if the teacher/school has a website similiar to this, it may help. Also, email take away anything or reward when your own assignment book. Lastly, there may be an assignment folder that you can request the teacher to sign each day or at the end of the week. A counselor/administrator may have one. It will be your childs responsibility to write down the assignments and see the teacher for the signature each day. If they do not get it signed, there can be punishment at home or school (ex: no p.e., no ice cream at lunch, see the administrator, etc.) Also, check to see if her textbook has online resources and have her work on puzzles, etc. that interest her.

I hope this helps.