Dennis again, One more thing, I was spanked twice when I was growing up. Both times well deserved and both times it got my attention. Keep on being a good parent, Dennis

It seems to me that you are a good parent, have never spanker her before now, and it was for a good cause. What really worries me is some of the comments back to you. I wonder if "Rabbit" has ever raised a child, or is she just in-experienced. Based upon your description, not only did she shoplift, she lied about where she was going and why. She needs to take responsibility for her actions - not just have a "good reason" for doing something...."Rabbit" are you reading this????

But does spanking her effectively teach her to be responsible for her actions? or just that violence is the solution if someone does something wrong to her?

Well I certainly didn't say that B Grey was a bad parent, nor did I suggest that her daughter had a "good reason" for shoplifting. I just think that the advice to hit a child with an object is bad advice and not very constructive. It could also be considered as child abuse. FYI I have worked with children for the past 12 years, so yes, I do know what I'm talking about. I agree that she needs to take responsiblity for her actions - hitting her does not fulfil this need.

I won't reply to any further messages here. I don't think it's very useful to B Grey to get into an argument in her post. If you don't agree with me, then just ignore my advice.

Please don't leave the forum. I totally agree with your advice. I don't think B Grey is a bad parent either, I can understand how disappointed and angry he was with his daughter. I agree with you that discussion, grounding are more appropriate discipline tools than corporal punishment.

I totally support your position about hitting children with objects. In my humble opinion it is not acceptable and actually harmful to the child potentially abusive. You like me were only expressing an opinion about some of the advice contained in the other posts. This is what a forum is about. People can take or leave the advice.

Jill I think you were very rude to Rabbit but respect you are entitled to your opinion. However, I don't believe personal attacks are justified and will now bow out of this discussion.

To B Grey I hope things work out well for you and your daughter

Hi,

Our daughter is 15 and we normally ground her. One think my wife finds effective is making our daughter write an essay whilst she is grounded. Our daughter finds them really hard work and tends to behave for a while after.

i don't think you went to far...i get spanked by my daddy and i even though i hate when it happens i think that it teaches me in the long run. if i shoplifted i could be sure i would find my self over my daddy's knee for a spanking

You did not go too far. If you had started spanking 10 years ago, she probably wouldn't have been out shoplifting now. I had 3 children. Spanked all 3 when necessary. I never had behavioral problems with any of them.

My goodness you did NOT go too far. What a load of crap saying hitting them only teaches violence that is what is wrong wIth society today. Far too many do gooders. It was the first time you hit her for goodnes sake. As soon as as i saw those replies it made my bllod boil. Yes TALK if it works- totally agree. I don't belive in violence myself - hate it! But it was needed at this point I know my kids think "oh we'll talk and discuss and make the right noises then I can go and do what i like"!

no way, dont believe these darn do gooders saying a spanking is equal to child abuse,what a joke, children need to have boundries and I'm sure your daughter now knows that stealing is very wrong, what you did was take a serious stand for her future,i'm sure she wont be doing it again.
Donna