Re: help with my 8 year old girl who gets angry when things don't go her way
It's sounds frustrating, both for you and for your daughter. She doesn't have the skills to express her anger so she is acting up. I think you could show her you understand her feelings, by telling her (Example: I understand you are cross because your picture went wrong when you tried so hard. I feel like that when the dinner spoils.). Then show her how to verbalise her feelings (example: I'm so angry that I spoilt my picture, it's made me very upset!). It's better if you show her you understand how she is feeling, rather than try to solve the situation herself. That way she will learn to deal with her frustration, rather than having every situation sorted out for her. Encourage her to accept the blame for some things by accepting it positively (example: Yes, I can see you have spoilt it a little. How can you make it better?). Don't join in with her anger(Example: Yes, you have spoilt it you silly girl! Now it's ruined!). I'm sure that once knows that it is ok to be angry and how to manage her anger, things will improve. But first, you have to show her how to handle it. Remember, we are all angry at times, it's natural - it's how we deal with it that's important.
check out this book by john gottman- i have posted on it before-it outlines really helpful ways to deal with your childs emotions and help them to identify how they are feeling and what they can do to feel better-its called 'the heart of parenting-raising an emotionally intelligent child'it also has a lot of ideas as to how parents can learn to 'coach' their children through different emotions so that the child learns about their emotions and how to identify what they are feeling and why. it outlines exactly how to do the things that rabbit posted on for your problem. i would really encourage you to check it out. good luck!
