Sonya,

You need to stop doing everything for her right now! I am telling you girl. Things will only go down hill from here if you don't! The more that you do for her the more she will ask of you. There is no reason that at 10 years old she can't wash her own hair and clean her own room. I know that I have a message on this board and I can't even get my own daughter to clean her room but, I think that we are starting to make some progress. This is why I am telling you is because I know! She is more than likely doing this for attention. She sees you giving her daddy attention and she is jealous because that is "her daddy" and she don't want you to take him away from him. I know that you are not trying to do that but, she don't. I was in a relationship with a guy that I loved with all my heart. He had 2 kids ages 13 and 2, my kids were 12 and 7. I had to do everything for the 2 year old and my 7 year old was pretty independant until she saw me doing for the 2 year old. She started wanting me to bathe her, wash her hair and just do all the things that I did for the 2 year old. I sat her down and talked to her and she told me that "I loved Marisa (the 2 yr old) more that I loved her." I didn't of course but, that is the way that she saw it.

If I were you, I would either sit her down and talk to her about it and tell her that you are not trying to take her daddy's attention from her or give him more than her. Tell her that you just want you all to be a happy family and then ask her to help you do things like cook dinner and clean up afterward. Or, tell her that while you fix dinner if she will clean her room that will give you time to spend with her later. That might make her want to do more and that will build a bond between you two and make her feel more secure. It is helping me.

I wish you the best of luck. Hang in there.