My son was 5 in July and has gone into Year 1 at school and it is hell. His teacher complains & says he does not concentrate and is disruptive. Today I have been told that he bit someone quite hard, he has never bitten before. He seems to have changed a lot in the few months he has been back at school & I am at a loss what to do. We have never had any problem like this b4 and we don't have it at home, he is really friendly and knows nearly all the kids big & little. He does like to show off and is a bit of a drama queen but this is ridiculous.Something has changed him but I have no idea what or why he is behaving like this. His teacher does seem quite keen to point out that it is no ones fault but his own. What do I do? When will this ever end????
Hi Claire,
I work in a school (nursery nurse ~ reception/Year 1 class) so understand your concern about your son. I assume you have spoken to your son about this behaviour and I am wondering what he has said. Youu must tell him that you do not approve of his behaviour and tell him why it is wrong. But also explain clearly what you expect from him when he is at school. I.e ~ listen carefully to the teacher, work hard, be friendly and look after the other children and the school property, etc.
Have there been any changes at home that he may be having trouble dealing with? I'm sorry but I have to ask because this is quite often a factor in this kind of situation. Assuming there are none, I think you need to go back to the school and agree a strategy for dealing with his behaviour, this will need to be supported both at home and school, is his teacher only noticing when his behaviour is poor? If this is the case he will be getting the message that it doesn't matter what he does he is always in trouble anyway. Myself and the teacher I work with look for 'small' positives in all children and really praise this good behaviour. It really works.
I am concerned that your teacher has labelled your son 'disruptive and lacking in concentration' he is only 5 for heavens sake! Can you go into the school to help out, then you might see for yourself what is triggering this behaviour. If you are worried about the teacher then make an appointment with the head and have a quiet word. Try not to become aggresive or judgemental, simply state your concerns openly.
It is possible that his teacher is not telling him off for his poor behaviour but there is really no way of knowing unless you talk to him/her. Children at this age need to know when their behaviour is not acceptable, and it should be pointed out to them calmly, as well as letting them know when we are pleased with their behaviour (often when they are quiet we over look them instead of telling them we are proud of how they are behaving. Only by distinguishing between good and bad behaviour can children learn what we expect from them. Hope this helps
Thank you for the advice. There hasn't been any changes at home at all so this shouldn't be a problem. I went into the school yesterday to see the SENCO teacher as she has known my son from nursery up, she is of the opinion that he is improving but does lack in concentration, this I am aware of and both myself & the school are working on this.
Unfortunately my son bit someone the other day and we were told that it was nasty and that 'you should have seen the mark on the other child' I was mortified, my son was put on a red card at school and punished both there and at home. I went to speak to the childs mum today, to apologise and was informed that it was no big deal, just a game of cats & dogs?? that got out of hand and that even she thought the teacher went over the top. This teacher has not bothered to speak to me directly about the incident, the vice head spoke to my mum, she collects him.
I won't tolerant biting and my son knows this but now thanks to the teacher we were led to believe he was being vicious instead of a game gone o.t.t.
I will talk to the head when he is back next week but am afraid to alienate this teacher as my son still has the nex year in her class.
I think its time to talk to your son about school in general, try not to put words into his head but ask him open questions. E g What do you like best about school? Who are your friends? Is there anything that makes you sad when you are at school? etc. Hopefully if he has an issue about the teacher then he will openly discuss it with you. Then you at least know where he is coming from. If he likes his teacher then this is great, it shows she is treating him with respect and care, and perhaps the odd telling off will not actually do him any harm, just so long as it is balanced with plenty of praise when he is behaving well. Take care