I get very upset when people tellme how my son misbehaved or behaved. I realize though that my getting upset is a control thing. I am not there so is the problem as bad as all that? Not listening? Tell me a four year old that does. Remember the positive, your child is smart and you adore him. Don't let anxiety over his behavr dictate your relationship with him. Unless he is a serious danger to others (hitting, pushing, etc...) He probably just needs to sort out his boundaries and his role at school. You are a great mom, we all get crazed with our "almost big boys but not quites."

Hi, I do agree with you up to a point Sue but in my experience a child of four is easily controlled with the right guidance. I am sure he is as unhappy as you are Julie and wants very much not to be getting into trouble. The problem is that he probably doesn't know what he is doing wrong. Unless someone points it out to him how will he ever learn?

A technique that will definitely work is this:~
When he does something you are not happy with get down to his level and say to him calmly "that is not acceptable behaviour Callum, if you do that again I will put you on the 'naughty chair'" Then if he continues to do the same thing then you immediately take him to sit on the pre designated 'naughty chair' for a period of 4 minutes (one minute for each year of his life). If he leaves this chair then you take him back and say "if you move from there you will sit for longer" (then add on another minute). When he has completed his four minute 'time out' you go back to him and say again "that behaviour was unacceptable and I want you to say sorry to me" When he apologises give him a big hug and let him go off to play some more. You MUST remain calm at all times and not shout down to him. This is a tried and tested procedure that does work, please try it but don't forget ALWAYS give him a first warning.
When his behaviour is very good then praise him and tell him how good he is being.
I work in a foundation stage classroom as a teacher and use this procedure in class as well, it works like a dream please try it. A four year old will always push the boundaries it is up to you to draw them in for him. Good luck

Thank you very much for your comments and I will take them on board. I have spoken with a close friend who also has a four year old and agrees with you that Callum is testing me and testing his boundaries. I will keep you posted and thanks again.

Julie

Your welcome, i will keep my fingers crossed for you.