Keep your head up and dont let the little ones see u down...In my opinion you should let make ur daughter leave, she is almost 18 and ur other children do not need to see her treat u that way. After she is gone for a while things will change between the two of you. She will once again be ur friend. As far as ur son goes, the next time he calls u names, take away any freedom u have given him and dont back down....make him realize that you have had enough, and that the disrespect he has shown you will stop or else..
Best of luck - Stay strong for the little ones-Being a single mother of four is tough dont give up.....

Thank you Angie and Sondra for your helpful comments and advice. It is re-assuring to know I am not alone at least! I had asked my daughter to move out and she went and stayed with a friend for a few days, during which time we had no contact. I phoned her after 5 days and asked what she was doing about her bedroom and her stuff and we agreed she could come home if she improved her behaviour, however she says she despises me! Oh well. I guess I will have to hope both her and my son grow up a bit and quickly!! or it will be a case of "close the door on your way out"
I will keep you posted.
Thanks again
Fiona

Girl,

You have really got your work cut out for you. I am also a single mother of tow with very similar problems if not worse. I am also on this message board under (Kids with NO respect). You may want to look and see what some people have written to me. You have to get this under control right now or it will only get worse. I read what the other person wrote to you about your daughter being your friend again and that things will be better. I have one thing to say to that, IF this is just now starting you have a chance. IF this has been going on for a while, you have a really long long road ahead of you! You do need to lay the law down to both of your older children and if they don't get any better then you might need to send them to live with their dad or something in order to keep your younger kids from doing the same. I know that it is hard but, my daughter got so bad the other night that I had to pretend to call the police to come and get her. I even packed a suit case and put it on the porch. I kept dialing a bogas number pretending that it was the police and asking what was taking so long for them to get here to pick her up. I am telling you, you need to nip this thing in the bud before you lose total control of the situation. It is bad enough with two kids against you but four, honey, you wont stand a chance. I wish you the best of luck. If you need a friend who knows what you are going through feel free to email or instant message me. I think that having support through things like this help more than anything and knowing that you not alone. We may also be able to help eachother. Have a good day and keep your chin up. I know that it seems like your not going to make it through this but you (we) are going to make it.

I sure hope you're right Sondra! I guess we will make it with the added bonus of grey hair and stress wrinkles!! I read your posts and boy you have your work cut out for you too.
Take care hunny!
Fiona

Hi, new to this but at the end of my tether right now and don't know what else to do.
I have 3 boys (15,13 &8) My eldest is the problem. He has been steadily getting worse with his behaviour and I feel like I have run out of solutions and consequences.
Since June in particular he has been excluded from school for 4 days for swearing at teachers, graffittied the walls at the local shop (I am surprised we haven't had a visit from the police), got incredibly drunk, come home stoned on a few occassions and has now been fighting in the street with another boy.
My husband and I have grounded him, reasoned with him, yelled at him, stopped pocket money, removed priviledges (mobile phone, t.v, stereo etc etc)and are just at the stage where we don't know what else to do with him.
It feels like he has absolutly no respect for us or anyone at school and no ambitions etc for the future.
Everytime we ry to punish him in any way he threatens to ring social servicesbecause he knows his rights and we can't treat him like we do, but each time we give him back some trust he does something a bit worse. I feel he is on the slippery path to no where and don't know how to turn things around.
Any suggestions would be welcome.

DON'T MESS WITH MOM

My son came home from school one day,

With a smirk upon his face.

He decided he was smart enough,

To put me in my place.



Guess what I learned in Civics Two,

that's taught by Mr. Wright?

It's all about the laws today,

The "Children's Bill of Rights."



It says I need not clean my room,

Don't have to cut my hair.

No one can tell me what to think,

Or speak, or what to wear.



I have freedom from religion,

And regardless what you say,

I don't have to bow my head,

And I sure don't have to pray.



I can wear earrings if I want,

And pierce my tongue & nose.

I can read & watch just what I like,

Get tattoos from head to toe.



And if you ever spank me,

I'll charge you with a crime.

I'll back up all my charges,

With the marks on my behind.



Don't you ever touch me,

My body's only for my use,

Not for your hugs and kisses,

that's just more child abuse.



Don't preach about your morals,

Like your Mama did to you.

That's nothing more than mind control,

And it's illegal too!



Mom, I have these children's rights,

So you can't influence me,

Or I'll call Children's Services Division,

Better known as C.S .D.



Of course my first instinct was

To toss him out the door.

But the chance to teach him a lesson

Made me think a little more.



I mulled it over carefully,

I couldn't let this go.

A smile crept upon my face,

he's messing with a pro.



Next day I took him shopping

At the local Goodwill Store.

I told him, "Pick out all you want,

there's shirts & pants galore.



I've called and checked with C.S.D.

Who said they didn't care

If I bought you K-Mart shoes

Instead of those Nike Airs.



I've canceled that appointment

To take your driver 'S test.

The C.S.D. Is unconcerned

So I'll decide what 'S best.



I said "No time to stop and eat,

Or pick up stuff to munch.

And tomorrow you can start to learn

To make your own sack lunch.



Just save the raging appetite,

And wait till dinner time.

We're having liver and onions,

a favorite dish of mine.



He asked "Can I please rent a movie,

To watch on my VCR?

"Sorry, but I sold your TV,

For new tires on my car.



I also rented out your room,

You'll take the couch instead.

The C.S.D. Requires

Just a roof over your head.



Your clothing won't be trendy now,

I'll choose what we eat.

That allowance that you used to get,

Will buy me something neat.



I'm selling off your jet ski,

Dirt-bike & roller blades.

Check out the "Parents Bill of Rights,"

It's in effect today!



Hey hot shot, are you crying,

Why are you on your knees?

Are you asking God to help you out,

Instead of C.S.D..?

--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---

Replying to:

Hi, new to this but at the end of my tether right now and don't know what else to do.
I have 3 boys (15,13 & My eldest is the problem. He has been steadily getting worse with his behaviour and I feel like I have run out of solutions and consequences.
Since June in particular he has been excluded from school for 4 days for swearing at teachers, graffittied the walls at the local shop (I am surprised we haven't had a visit from the police), got incredibly drunk, come home stoned on a few occassions and has now been fighting in the street with another boy.
My husband and I have grounded him, reasoned with him, yelled at him, stopped pocket money, removed priviledges (mobile phone, t.v, stereo etc etc)and are just at the stage where we don't know what else to do with him.
It feels like he has absolutly no respect for us or anyone at school and no ambitions etc for the future.
Everytime we ry to punish him in any way he threatens to ring social servicesbecause he knows his rights and we can't treat him like we do, but each time we give him back some trust he does something a bit worse. I feel he is on the slippery path to no where and don't know how to turn things around.
Any suggestions would be welcome.