Hi, I'm new to these sites and I'm hoping to get some ideas on how to help my 7 yr old son with his behaviour problems at school. He has been going to daycare since he was 2 1/2 yrs. old and I had hoped in part that he would gain a lot of socialization skills before school by being there. This hasn't seemed to happen. He's good at daycare and home, for the most part. At school is another story. He loses recess privileges because he's always hitting, kicking, punching, calling names. I am at a loss of how to deal with this behaviour any more. Nothing has seemed to work. He is in Grade 2 and we dealt with this same problem through Grade 1 and Kindergarten. He is a bright child and academically is doing fine. He just seems to have no self control in an unsupervised environment. Please help!!!!

Hi Carey,
The behaviour you describe absolutely reflects how your son is feeling. Anger and attack is always a cover emotion. It is what we use to defend ourselves against feeling the feelings underneath the defence. You are hurt about something so you attack. But if you felt the feelings underneath the attack you would feel sad, hurt, guilty, any number of softer feelings. Once these have been healed, and they can be with ease, there is no need to attack anymore. If you have hurt in you, or if the teachers do, or the other children do, your son's hurt has less chance of being noticed or sorted out, it just stays stuck in there, and the behaviour continues or gets worse. If you want to know how you can sort this out contact me at david@childproblem.co.uk and get some free reports all about this. Best wishes David