refuses to go to school,clean room and always argeruing with her mom wont mind have grounded her dont work took things alway from her works for little while not for long starting to get rood with her dad
need help dont want to loose her thank you for advise
Difficult, but try not to be too hard on her, make two or three rules together for her to abide by when she is in the house and stick by them. Perhaps ~ 1. Keep room tidy 2. No swearing or shouting 3. Be home by 9.00pm if going out. If she breaks a rule then ground her, or take something out of her room.
DON'T shout at her as she will not hear what you are saying she will simply shout back. Stay calm and reasonable (not easy I know) and ask her if she would like to live in a quieter and more peaceful household. I'm sure she would. She must also understand for this to happen she also has to take responsibility for her actions. Hope you can work it out. Good luck
As a fourten year old myself I find that before I started to keep my room tidy most of the time, I used to hate people saying that I had to tidy my whole room especially when it was really bad. It was easier if I did things in stages..eg. day one put all my washing in the wash basket, day two put a few things away, day three take any glasses/cups back downstairs etc..therefore my room started to not be as bad. Perhaps you could ask her to do maybe one of two things a night but not her whole room at once. If that is not an option maybe you could help her do her room so it's not so daugnting for her doing it all by herself.
As for missing school, is it possible she may be being bullied, or not making friends easily. She may find her work hard and feels like she doesn't want to ask for help. Maybe she's fallen out with friends and feels uncomfortable at school. If she won't go to school then perphaps in the mean time you could get her some work from the school for her to do. Her education is very important and by not going you may get fined. you could talk to her teachers if nessacary and try and find out what the problem is.
Reward good behaviour, try to be on the look out for it all the time, no matter how small and reward it by letting her do the things she wants.
I was looking through the forum at the different situations trying to find a solution to my own and I came across your response. My daughter is 10 and I am having a problem with her cleaning her room among other things. I know that your reply wasn't to me but, I just wanted to thank you for your entry because you gave me a really good idea. Thanks alot! I think that it really helps to hear from other kids. Your world is alot different from the way that ours was when we were 10 and 14. As adults I think that we have a really hard time understanding that. We or at least I seem to think that things are the same today for kids that they were 20 - 30 years ago when we were kids and they aren't. A 10 year old today is like a 14 or 15 year old back then. Everything is so advanced for kids now a days and I think that it is really sad that kids can't just be kids today, they have to grow up entirely to fast.
Thanks again for your reply to this person's problem, it may have just really helped me out.
