I have the same problem. I have 3 kids 13, 10 and 7. The eldest boy now accepts it but it still hurts him . Their father telephones once a week but very rarely sees them . I think it would be better if he cant be bothered to see them if he just disappeared altogether rather than flit in and out of their lives as and when. My 7 year old girl asked me if her dad was her real dad because if he was why doesnt he ever see her. The children, especially the boys, miss a male role model in their lives, especially when my father passed away. I know where you are coming from trying to be mum, dad, hold down a job and do everything in the house as well. But console yourself that the kids will think their mum is superwoman when they grow up and everyone else admires anyone, mum or dad, who bring up children alone.