2 and a half years ago i split up with my sons father, by then i was already ill but was diagnosed last year with borderline personality disorder. james has seen self harm and abuse in extreme ways. for the last six months i've been getting better, i dont drink i'm not bad tempered, i dont hurt myself. recently he's been saying he wants to die cause he doesnt like living, he was only 5 in june!! he also has made references to wanting life with me and his dad. he was 2 and a half when we split. i know his dad (when he see's him) puts things in his head but i've met someone else we're getting married next year and james's behaviour is putting a strain on our relationship.

It sounds like to me that your son is expressing what he has seen in you. I agree you do have problems and you are ill. I am glad that you have gotten help and are doing better but, you can't go back in time to undo the damage that you have already caused to your son. You may also want to take your son to the doctor because alot of mental illness is hereditary so, your son may have the same thing that you do. That is just a suggestion. I hope things get better for you and your son.

I know that you said that you are getting married and that your son is putting a strain on everything but, remember that your son is #1. You chose to have him, he didn't chose to be born and you need to make him feel important and part of your life with your fiance'. When you do this and your fiance' does it too your strain will be alot better. Lots of luck to you all.