My 4 year old acts act shy and scared but it usually comes across as rudeness. Has been at the same daycare for three years but as long as I am there (for drop off/pickup) she acts clingy and shy and rude, not talking to anyone. As soon as I leave, she is a normal playful kid, laughing and running and chatting with her friends. Her whole demeanor and personality changes when I or her grandma comes around.
Tried dance class, clung to me the whole time and when I tried to get her to participate she started screaming but as soon as we got outside she was skipping around. Did the whole "just watch" thing for the first few classes, did the bribe thing. And the teacher was great, the class was geared to unfocused 3 and 4 years old, several of the little girls kept asking "What's wrong with her?" cuz she just shrank from them when they asked her to play. And of course the look on her face says "AAGGHHH Don't touch me you disgusting horrible person!!!!"
She is big for her age, looks six and is very verbal (translate-sass mouth), but can go from screaming over nothing to laughing in two seconds flat. It is really irritating. And for some reason she has a phobia with being left-"you're not going to leave me right?" Jeez, you'd think I was in the habit of dropping her off on street corners and taking off for hours. Like I said she's been in the same routine and daycare for three years and they LOVE her there, the best place in the world she could be.(Okay, second best place but I'm a single mom with no choice) Her grandparents dote, but believe me, she is not "spoiled" by any means.
I just don't want her going through life with this huge chip on her shoulder or only being able to do things if I leave the area and let her scream the first few times she goes. Help!!!!
I understand your dilemma. My three year-old daughter is the same way. At dance class, she refuses to leave my side and clings to me, but when I am gone she is a very congenial cooperative child. What works for me is having someone else take her to dance class or just ignoring the clingy behavior altogether. The more I try to get her to be independent the more clingy she is. So I think this too will pass. Your child may always be shy but will definitely not always cling to your skirt. Be patient and don't force things. She'll come around in her own time.
Thanks for your input---I figured I'd just let dance class go and let her tell me in time what she likes.
I'm trying to not get tense about it, people who have kids will understand, those who don't, well..... Anyway thanks again!
