I have a 10-year old child who is extremely well-liked by teachers, parents, peers, etc... the problem is that he is so good to others that he saves his "bad" behavior for me. Last week he went too far and said something (out of anger) to me at work that other people overheard. It may, in fact, cost me my job. He knows he did a terrible thing and "seems" regretful. But I am still so angry and hurt and I want him to suffer the consequences of his actions. I want to take away an extracurricular activity which is extrememly important to him, to make sure this behavior never happens again.
It depends I suppose on how frequently this behaviour happens and what exactly the behaviour is.
Cancelling an activity is usually a successful thing to do as ultimately it is only him that it will have any impact on. You of course will feel dreadful about it and he is going to try and make all the promises in the world that the behaviour will not recur if he really is upset about missing out on something. Maybe you could try not going to a particular activity for a few weeks and then he will realise that you mean business and that you need him to try to change his behaviour. If you see a genuine change in him and realise that he is trying to make amends then you could let him go back to the activity, but on the understanding that if the behaviour occurs again you will cancel the whole course (if this is practical).
However, you need to really get to the bottom of why it happens and only with you. Are there any underlying issues that he is worrying about and ultimately taking out his anger/frustations on you.
With regards to your job, could you try talking to your boss and laying your cards on the line with regards to your son's behaviour. If you you think you could lose your job, then you have nothing to lose by talking to an immediate superior.
