I have two boys aged 9 and 7. The 9 year old has problems learning, but is an ace chap and a real trier. The 7 year old, is very bright and will often manipulate the 9 year old, however has now started on a self-destructive pattern. He will not join in with things, saying that he is stupid, he often will refuse food, saying that it would be better if he died. I know that he is seeking attention but it is so hard because when you try to play with him he will say don't bother with me, I don't deserve anything. When he is in a good mood which is getting less and less now, he will try to get rewards for everything. If he comes to the shops he will say, if i am good will you buy me something. He also has been held back a year at school, due to the fact that although he is capable he will not demonstrate it. HELP PLEASE, ANYONE ELSE HAS THIS PHASE?
this is so sad, and so alarming for you too i am sure. i think you need to talk to your health visitor about this urgently. he sounds very depressed and depression is a chemical change in the body not just a state of mind. It is unusual for a child his age to express death wishes. He may need counselling and possibly a short course of anti depressants to bring him back to a stage where he can see beyond this awful time of his life. I am sure you are doing all you can to help him. I hope he gets better soon.big hug for you ... i am sure you need one xx
Thanks for your reply. We had him on his own this weekend, and using the 5 week plan from the website for the strong willed child we have made a commitment to follow it. I must say that after only 10 mins he did seem alot better. I know that it is only attention that he wants, but because he tries to get it in such a negative way we all ignore him so he tries even worse things such as the death wish line. I realise that I have to give him attention. To be fair to him he has had a fairly odd year, my husband has MS and although you would not know it too look at him, earlier this year he had a really bad attack and the boys had to see him in hospital for 2 months unable to feed himself, speak or ago to the toilet. So it's not surprising that he may be a little affected by it all. Thanks again for your support!XX
