Have you read the article "LIVING SINGLE IN 2006
Anecdotes of unmarried black women part 1"
by Rachel Ramone?

It raises the question:
We all want and deserve to be treated with respect and admiration, but is it truly necessary to cross the race line in hopes of finding these things?

Whats your opinion?

I work for a reputable company as a sales director and their just no black men around on my level. I tried dating guys in regular jobs, but what I earned was always a problem. I never felt respected for who I was, just resented.
I met a fellow sales director at a conference. Yes he is white. Since dating him I feel I am being treated the way a brother never has treated me. So am I wrong in holding on to this man with both hands. I don’t think so.

I dont like the idea of us dating white men or any other ethnicity. We are all separated by shades of color for a reason. God does not make mistakes. If he had intended for us all to be beige then he would have made us that way. Children that come from these type of unions get picked on everyday because they dont fit in to any identity. If we want to keep our population represented by people with shades of brown, we need to procreate with one another.

I agree with Teresa. They need to stay with theirs and we need to stick with ours.

maybe if we were all the same color there would be no prejudice

I have dated white men only for several years and they are much better at everything including lovemaking. They are more passionate and considerate and I am not willing to give that up simply because his skin is lighter than mine.

I dont want nothing pink laying next to me

I'm 25 and a mid-level professional in education. Graduated from an exclusive high school and college.

I consider myself still new to the game but the older I get I find myself examining the issue.

I value my history and culture and thus have jumped in an out of the dating scene with men of african, caribbean and afr. american descent. I must say that I have had the unfortunate time of running into black men who are just emotionally impotent and suffer from lack of successful perspective.

I go back and forth about who's to blame...the brother who doesn't open his mind or the system that keeps it closed.

I also say to myself...in a relationship is it my job to help you up when I'm still working on me. I've heard many horror stories about women who do that and when they turn around homey is gone (with a white girl!)

IF a man of a different race came along and could intelligently empathize with my struggle as a black woman...treated me how I wanted to be treated and we could seriously build, I can't at this point say that I wouldn't.

I love the look feel smell smile and etc of a black man...but those things fade away and in the end all I want to worry about is how are we going to keep progressing, how you are going to treat me and how good of a father you will be to our future kids. period.

See this is the problem with black women. They are always looking for what a brother or any other man can do for them. White women know that if you want to keep a man happy, just keep him HAPPY. Black women want everything and the real reasons are basically because they are trying to keep up with the Joneses. White women want to take care of their men, children and home, which is why many of us would rather be with them.

no the truth is that you all can not deal with our strength!

My job, degrees, paycheck, and possessions don't define me. They don't define the man who loves me either. I have standards, and complexion isn't within the realm of my standards.

There is only one God, one Heaven and one Love in my book that's true. The three transcend race and possessions, so I don't live in that bondage.

We now live in the 21st century, and unless we can trace every drop of blood in our ancestral tree back to the FIRST drop, we can be at LEAST 90% sure that we are ALL mixed with SOMETHING we claim to "hate".

Love is everywhere. Dogs are too, and I'm not limiting myself for the sake of outward appearance.

India Arie says it best ... her latest album is MY testimony too!

Well sister if that is the case, why did God make us in different races in the first place? African Americans are the only race that is sure to face extinction based on the fact that we have assimilated into the mixing pot culture. Very soon, it will be difficult to see a black woman and be able to identify her as such based on her skintone alone. Hispanics will then become the minority group in America with power because they will outnumber us. Who will then stand up for us? Nobody because we wont have a valid arguement about racial profile or descrimination anymore. Get real about this issue please!

I ONLY DATE WHITE WOMEN BECAUSE THEY ARE MORE RESPECTABLE AND DONT DO ALL OF THAT BACK TALKING. WHEN I NEED SOMETHING, THEY ARE HAPPY TO PROVIDE AND THIS MAKES ME REALIZE THAT THEY REALLY CARE AND WANT TO SUPPORT A BROTHA.

The question itself is redundant and exposes the author's own nationality. If this question was asked on a white forum, black people would be throwing a fit.

There are no black people in North America. We are all mixed. A person could walk around saying they were a camel, but that doesn't make it fact. I am glad to see the proliferation of mixed-race marriages. The racists, and one-dropists (of both races) will continue to be pissed off. But they've lost the battle. Let them fume, strut and pose...while they observe the exponential increase in interracial couplings. In 2006 no one outside the Church cares about their opinion.

I do not think that its necessary to cross. I have never dated a white man, even though I have been approached. The thought of it makes me ill. I have been treated with respect and love by my Brothers

this Ripley dude is a joke. He apparently doesnt care if he and the future generation of his children will be slowly assimilated into a race and culture that doesnt care to preserve or remember our slave ancestors. My great grandmother had kinky hair, dark skin and a broad nose. If we attend a family reunion, you can see how her strong traits passed down through generations. People know the Williamson family and all of our kin because we are easily and proudly indentifiable. Mixing our families up with the white family down the street will surely erase all memories of my grandmother until it gets to the point that no one remembers what all of us use to look like.

I can't understand why some people say they have a LOVE of GOD yet, do not have a love of others. God is ALL loving and doesn't discriminate. Only people discriminate. Do you really think that ONE race can be completely confined within it's own community when times are changing? Just look around you. I've read how some development companies years ago, and to this day, were contracted to purposely seperate the masses making it nearly impossible to give others a chance to excel. The make up of this world has been completely designed to keep out certain groups of people and it's scarey that some of us would try and reinforce THEIR way of thinking and would deny OUR PEOPLE the right to be given those same kinds of opportunities that will propel our race in the same direction. Tell me this, Why should some races live the good life and not others? By seperating yourselves from the masses is to deny yourselves and your children the opportunity to grow as people. By the way the crossing the race line in order to gain respect is a myth. The possibilities of being disrespected still exists even among white people or any other race. It's only when one has been mistreated or disrespected so many times within that race that if someone of another race enters the picture and treats you like you've never been treated before that race is no longer an issue but something to be embraced and explored.

I'll start answering this question by saying; I believe there is no one correct why to answer this question. My reason for saying this is that there are people who soul mates are of another skin color.
For them to unite they have to cross some lines.
We all are of the same race, the human race; some people just have different shades of skin color.

Even though most people tend to have soul mates of a simular skin tone, from time to time, others will find someone of a different tone. Even though they do unite with someone of a lighter or darker skin tone, most of the time it's without giving it a second thought. While other people consider having a mate of a different skin tone a saleing out.

To me, skin color doesn't matter. People of all skin tones are having the same trouble finding respectful, loving and honest soul mates.

So, for some it might be necessary to seek your mate in another skin shade; while others may not have to in order to find someone who would respect, love and honor them.

What matters is that he or she loves you.

I AM VERY DISAPPOINTED TO HEAR ALL OF THE "WE ARE THE WORLD WE ARE THE CHILDREN" KINDA TALK FROM PEOPLE THAT CLAIM TO LOVE THEIR HERITAGE. OUR CULTURE AND OUR HERITAGE AS AFRICAN AMERICAN PEOPLE ARE AN INDICATION OF OUR STRUGGLE (WHICH WAS A RESULT FROM THE TREATMENT FROM WHITES). TO SAY THAT ITS OK TO MINGLE AND MIX WITH OUR GRANDMOTHERS AND GRANDFATHERS OPPRESSORS, IS A SLAP IN THE FACE TO WHAT THEY TRIED TO INSTILL IN US. BLACK PRIDE AND BLACK UNITY.

This is, and will always be, a heated debate. I read the other posts, and almost everyone makes compelling points. Is it necessary to cross the race line? No, it's not. But to each his or her own. In the past, I used to have issues with blacks (esp. men) who crossed the racial line for love – until the Lord liberated me. He removed the indifference for non-blacks and gave me a love for all people, because He loves all equally. Liars, cheaters, and beaters come in all colors. If you can find someone (regardless of race) that can identify with you on emotional, cultural, economic, and spiritual levels – then go for it! Why turn away someone who you feel completes you because other blacks wouldn’t approve? Living by what other people think/say is bondage indeed. With that said, if you choose to mix it up, don’t be critical and disapproving of ALL black men/women!!!

Before I met my BLACK husband 14 years ago, I dated some mutts. Just because I came in contact with some undesirables didn’t mean ALL black men were scrubs. To say that would be disrespectful to my father, sons, brothers, etc. as well as all the other decent, caring black men out there! Some black women are docile and submissive, while just as many of us are strong and assertive (and rightfully so!). The same goes for white women. Some are disobliging and don’t care about their homes and children while some others do. Stay away from the blanket statements. Those remarks don’t exemplify black unity and definitely not pride. It only exposes your disdain for half of your own people.

I do not believe one should cross any line( racial or otherwise) to feel that they can only get what they desire by doing so, no, no, no.

In general people have to be comfortable in their own skin, be happy with who you are...once you do this and accept yourself, you wont need anyone to validate you and you will be free to see that all you desire and look for in life has been there all along, right under nose!

I dont believe that you have to date out of your race to be treated with respect.Iam a young blk female,no children,independent,and I have never been married.Ive been single for about 2yrs now and im growing tired of the dating scene..I know that I have alot to offer a mate but it seems like the men that I meet are intemidated by my strong independence.I love my brothers but i have to agree with the sterotype.Its like pulling teeth trying to meet a descent brother.Im not ready for the interacial thing yet..but it has crossed my mind

Upon reading this, I have come to the conclusion that we as black people both men and women are seemingly selfish by nature. A black women wants a man who will do and be for her and a black man wants a woman who will do and be for him and there is nothing wrong with that. The problem arises when there is not a common ground or compromise and this is something we seem to need to work at.

What's up family. As a single 30 year old professional brother, I admit there is a shortage of brothers that I see who work in my building (and there are thousands professionals who work here).

The real problem is the system has trained black men to be thugs and perpetually angry. Hip hop in essence for most black boys/men growing up acts as a life hand-book in a sense teaching our men how to think, act, carry themselves, speak and refer to one another(what up pimp, what up playa, what up gangsta...... even I had to stop myself from saying that nonsense). This hip hop "na-mean, nome-sayin" behavior/attitude unfortunately doesn't make for an employable professional black man, desirable partner, or overall positive-fun loving and supportive person to be around. Black men are out there, but the challenge is trying to find one that hasn't been corrupted by the system or "the street".

Once brothers take off the "I'm hardcore-keeping-it-real" coat that the white male controlled system (BET, MTV, Universal Music, Viacom, etc.) has dictated them to wear, then black women will finally see more options for suitable mates in our community open up. In the mean time, love those who love you (black or white) and like those who like you. For me, I only date sistas because they are physically more attractive than "others" in my eyes and are the only ones I can fully connect with emotionally and culturally.

Sistas lets try and understand the source of the "thuggery" and lack of ambition, and hence your lack of options before we cast brothers into the "bad people file" which is what the original plan was in the first place. I love you my sistas. Someone please feel me on this.

This is a very interesting site and I must reply to this one.
I took a white girl to bed once and it was not all that.
First, those of you who date white men have no pride. Those of you who date white women have no pride either. WHITEY HAS THE IMPRESSION THAT THEY CAN BUY AND SELL BLACK PEOPLE.
The bad part is---THEY CAN STILL DO IT and you prove exactly that.
We have to honor ourselves and I am proud of the sisters who have responded that we need to REMAIN WITH OUR OWN. We who use every excuse to date white folks have failed ourselves physchologically, financially, romantically and worst of all to the detrement of our people as a whole.
It is driven by the fact that The White Man has promoted Black women over the Black man. Look around you in your jobs. The women, in most case, are at a higher level than the Black Men.
The second step is separation. He gets you to the top, in the baordroom, and you look around and see all that luxury. This is to further impress you that he is powerless and the Black male is nothing.
It all goes back to Willie Lynch. He was a White slaveowner in the carribean. He put it in us to separateourselves, by gender, by skin tone, by status, and by favor with the slavemaster.
Some of those who say "no Black men are available" are lying to yourselves. There are plenty. You just don't go where they are at. I am talking about DECENT MEN, men who would love you, love yourchildren and take care of home, but many Black women don't take care of home. Too many Black women-AND MEN are lured by the surroundings, flattery, and anythign that divides us. I have been told on my job that I am different than other Blacks. I asked this guys how and he painted himself into a corner. I am not decieved by that mess. That is how they divide us.
BLACK PEOPLE as a whole would be in a better position today if we hung with our own.
If we truly loved our own people, we would not intermarry date or anything else with Whites.
I am not saying go get the poorest ugliest guy who is black to avoid White men, but I am saying look more deeply among your own. Quit being a TRAITOR!
Carl-Detroit.

I was married to a white man. I most certainly don't consider myself a traitor. After all, my mom's white and my father a dark man. Together they live together for over 40 [!!!] years.. Unfortunately my relationship with the white man failed but after a while I dated a few black man also.. [it seems they were always cheating on their girlfriends who seems to be whities[!!] So who are the traitor's ?!! For me I think, if i can find hapiness, love etc.. with a white man or what other colour, I will go for that and not just stay narrow minded, dating 'my kind'. Peace!