Why are most black men afraid to commit?
I am a single mother, looking for a decent man. Every time I get close to a guy they start to back off as if commitment is a disease. My question to the men on this site is what are you afraid of. I would really like to understand

It's not that Black men are afraid of committment, from my prosprective, women seem to have an alterior motive. Just when you think everything is moving along nicely, the age old question of trust comes into play. As far as I am concerned, how many times do you have to hit your head against a brick wall before you realise it hurts? I hope the relationship I am now engaged in will stand up to the test of time. In most cases, all we want is a woman that will support us when we are down. Lets face it, it's not easy being a Black man especially when we have to stand on our own. I hope this sheds a bit of light on the problem.

I don't think BLACK men are afraid to commit. Men today simply don't buy into alot of the values of 50 years ago. Has not much to do with ethnicity. It's not fear, by the way. More like avoiding yellow snow.

Many black men are afraid of commitment, I think the real reason is that many guys feel that they have an reputation to live up too. The peer pressure that guys feel prohibits them from making that final step with any potential partner. There are some guys that have very strong personalities and will not be pressured into doing anything other than what they want to do. Sadly most guys still want to be then man in their boys and give up potential true happiness for nights out with the boys.

I was one of those men afraid to commit. I could not tell you what i was afraid of, i just would run anytime a woman would get to close and wanted commitment. I think that growing up without my dad has played a big part in the way i acted. It took strong and guiding words from my uncle to make me sit up and think about what i was doing. Also the fact that i was once again going to let a good woman go because of my fears.. i am glad to say i did not make that mistake and am currently in a loving relationship. So my answer to you my sis is that

All men are *******s. My heart has been broken by to many of you. Each time i meet a guy and feel that there is a posible future for us. He gets itchy feet and takes off. I've had enough

Well. one maybe hes not a man yet... maybe he still needs to find what he desires in life. No matter what his age may be, sometimes it takes more that turning 18 or 21 for a male to be considered a man. Plus, try to get to know these guys first before starting to think about commitment.. LOL plus, everytime I want some me time, I always bring up the subject of marriage. It weeds the boys from the men... on a real note sometimes whe have to look at ourselves. Do we have anything to offer to the relationship besides great food and even greater sex? Men have certain standards too!

Now just reading the replies to this article is cracking me up. Firstly not all black men are the same, secondly not every woman has an ulterior motive.
I think it falls to the choices we make. If you pick a boy playing at being a man he will act in a childish manner and run away when its time to act as a man. As i know many black MEN who are in committed relationships and loving it.

This is a really interesting subject. I gree with most of the comments people have written i think that is is harsh to generalise and say most black guys are afraid to commit. however there are some out there who i believe for lack of a positive role model do not know how to treat a woman let alone commit to one. Commitment requires respect of a woman and the ability to show emotions. Many of our black brothers unfortunately do not have those qualities, i beleive this comes from influences from Videos where women are constantly disrespected.

That is simple. I was married once. My wife was only after a meal ticket and contributed nothing to the household except what was between her legs, thinking I was some kind of sucker.
MEN DON'T LIKE THAT.
I HAVE NOT COMMITTED TO ANYONE SINCE THEN.

I need to reply again. The only fear most men have is that too many women play GAMES. I do not like playing mind games in a relationship. I HAVE ENOUGH MIND GAMES TO PLAY WITH WHITEY, I DON'T NEED THAT FROM MY WOMAN.
CARL-DETROIT

Carl i agree, many women do play mind games, i grew up with women all around me sisters, Aunts etc.. i always used to listen to them talk, what i learnt is that many women dont trust us men and as a result play these games in order for us to prove our love or feelings for them. Don't let a bad experiance spoil your chances of having a good relationship with someone else. Saying all that there are some women who just enjoy playing with others emotions hence the games. So all i can say to you is if you really pay attention you can normally spot the professional game player. I would also like to make the point that a Man is not afraid to commit if he believes he has found the right person. So some of the women reading this if they are in that situation with a man, look within 1st and question yourself if you are right for him. Also what is it that he is afraid of? When you have gone through this process then you can have a go at the man cause if you are giving him everything he needs and he is still afraid then maybe he is not quite the man you think he is.