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Childrens emotions

Hi I am looking for some advice, as I need a little help with my oldest child.
I have 2 girls one who is 7 and one who is 3, both girls are bright and happy children.
I recently got divorced from the girls mother and have been in the legal system for the last 12 months fighting tooth and nail to make sure my children know that they still and will always have a father.

I wont go into to much details as I would be on here all day, but basically this is it, my youngest is fine with me all the time but my eldest is totally fine with me whenever her mother isn't around, when I have her she is brilliant but when she is in the same room as both of us she is very much under her mothers spell.

I want to know how best to deal with this because it can be quite frustrating, however I do understand how she must be feeling as I experienced much the same as a child except my dad just left and left us to it,my ex-partner thrives off it though and I just have to bite my lip, I wont have my children feeling like that and I try to explain to them that both mummy and daddy loves them, where as my ex is trying to tell them that I am not there daddy anymore....

Is it just a case of putting an arm around her and making her feel as though she is not in the middle, should I just ignore it or does it need addressing?