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Dry bed for a four year old, and blaming wife

Hello to you. My wife appears to be blaming me again for something which has nothing to do with me really. She is doing a good job raising our daughter but if there's a problem somehow I get blamed.

Our daughter is currently sleeping with no nappy. Last weeknd we went to visit a friend 2.5 hours drive away. Our daughter has wet herself once in the car whilst asleep late evening so I put her into a nappy for the drive saying that it can be taken off when she gets to her bed so when she wakes up she'll have no nappy on. I said that if there was a leak then it wouldn't be comfortable for her in the car seat and that I wouldn't have access to towels and watert clear up during the 2.5 hours drive. Just before leaving a bedtime my wife had changed her clothes and taken her nappy off. My wife had no additional towels or water to clear up with if there was a leak during the journey. I said why have you taken her nappy off and my wife started to leave home to the car without answering. I said that I wouldn't drive unless she had a nappy on for the journey because we had no way of clearing up. My daughter asked my wife to drive but I do all the driving and my wife does little. So my daughter had a napy onduring he dive thenit was take off on arrival and before she went to bed.

Four days later, today, there is another long drive ahead during my daughter's night time. I have found the following note written to me before my wife has even said good morning to me (its not the facts that upset me because my wife is doing a good job but its the blame that she places on me).

"Since we returned from [friend A], [daughter] wet her bed every night. When I started to take the nappy off for the night she was dry for several days which is the sign to start. She was dry during the night for one week. I was prepared for this development step because I read a lot about it. The change happens in the child’s brain, it is mostly psychological. She needs a lot of support and our trust that she doesn’t need the nappy. The fact that she had to wear the nappy during the car journey to [friend A] was a sign of no confidence for her. It stops the development in the right direction. There have to be other preparations to ensure a dry car seat. I ask that for our journey to [friend B] to leave it to me about the nappy and the car seat. I like to do the best for [daughter] that she is dry during the night from now on at four and a half years old. If you insist that she has to wear a nappy I won’t say anything in front of her. It is pure stress for her and has a long term impact on her."

I have kept completely calm and I have raised with my wife that she has not put the potty in my daughter's bdroom nor left a small light on for my daughter to be able to use the potty.