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my two eldest children are out of control

i have 3 children in total one boy age 10 with adhd
one girl 3 and a baby 7 months ,i have recently struggled with my eldest two as there is a constant battle between them for attention ,my daughter copies my sons behaviour and will spit shout scream throw pull hair throw food and refuses to help clear up i have tried time out ,also ignoring her when she does these things but my son behaving in this way dosent help ,he will also shout at me cry throw things etc ,neither of them help clear up the devastation after and it seems i spend all day limiting damage and clearing devastation ,recently my son canot take his medication as it is causing an excess is acidity in his stomach and adominal pain ,i have tried additive free diets and giving them both time out but my son will still restle with me and swear at me and then start throwing things about ,unfortunatly my daughter will witness this and copy , there is no behaviour support in my local area that will help as they dont deal with children with this dissorder ,if i leave my daughter on her own she has actualy got in such a state at time out or me ignoring her that she has before burst the blood vesels around her eyes with crying and shouting and it dosent stop one night i put her on the step 45 times and she still would not stay im open to any suggestive help as im at breaking point