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Help with my son

Hi, I have a 4 year old boy, 3 year old girl and 10month old boy. My family is very busy! My first son has always been hard work. He nearly turned himself over on day 1 - he is constantly trying to more than he is capable of doing. As a toddler he would never do the same as other children, if they were playing with a box of toys he would be around the whole room touching anything but the toys. He does not want to be distracted away from anything. If we are witha group of children and they are doing singing/dancing he will get hyper and out of control - shouting etc and overly aggresive. He seems to be unable to control this behaviour. The only way to combat this is to put him in a room on his own. Once he has lost control, rarely will he get it back again that day. If I send him to his room on his own he will play quietly, but if I bring him back into the room we will be back in the same situation. He has recently started school and has already made a name for himself, doing silly random things, not listening, not doing what all the other children do. I have read some information about ADHD and Finlay doesn't seem to fit all the symptoms. Maybe he has a mild case. I don't know?????????? Does anyone have any ideas because I don't want to have to keep him seperated from others etc to avoid problem situations - and I would like to be able to socialise with other parents again as I have now stopped putting us in that position???? Please HELP???!!!