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help with 8 year old daughter

My daughter has just turned eight. She still has tantrums over the silliest things. Her father and I seperated two years ago but have an amicable relationship. She is an only child and although she probably has a lot more than some children she also doesn't have as much as a lot of her friends. We try our hardest to teach her between wrong and right but she is a very stubborn child and the problem we have is that at times if she wants to win a point or have something that is out of bounds no matter what we say a full blown tantrum can happen. This can include constantly trying to argue the point, we have tried the naughty step and putting her in her room and taking toys off her but nothing seems to work on a permanent basis. Every time she has friends round to play she tries to control them and boss them around and if they don't pay her enough attention she tells them she doesn't want them to come around again or goes in a sulk or cries. Not many of her friend's moms invite her to their house and I'm worried that she will end up with no friends. No matter how many times we have tried to tell her that her behaviour is not good she agrees at the time but then it seems to go out of her head as soon as her friends arrive or she gets the urge to have her own way. She can be very well behaved the majority of the time but as soon as she is not getting her way she can really push us and sometimes its very hard to control our temper or patience with her. Though we would never hit her I worry that we aren't doing a good job. Please can you help?

Re: help with 8 year old daughter

It sounds to me she has ALPHA female syndrome (not sure if it exists but my 9 year old daughter has it!).
My daughter can be so horrible to me and say the most awful things to me.
My husband and I just dont know what to do either. No punishment seems to get through to her. I often have to walk away before I say something I will regret.
we are going to try getting her to keep a diary.

Re: help with 8 year old daughter

Hi,I have a 9 year old girl and a 7 year old boy,they are both naughty,rude,have tantrums,they don't respect me or their father,anything we say is a joke to them,they never listen and they are driving us mad,we felt like we had no control,i didnt know what else to do.So I searched the net on ideas of what I can do,I came across a child behaviour repair kit,i used it consistantly for 2 weeks and the changes in my children was unbelievable,they now listen,no tantrums and no back chat,like 2 different kids.The kit is expensive around $65 but if it doesnt work you get your money back.This is the link
This literally saved my family.