My son is grown up now, but whenever there were problems, the school advised me to sit at the end of his bed at bedtime and start a conversation, then just listen to him for 15 mins or so, almost without interruption, just listen. Once children feel listened to, and this avenue is open to them, they often calm down. This needs to be done on a regular basis and is very therapeutic and you can learn a great deal about your child. Good luck.