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Behaviour problems 9 year old boy at home

I have a 9 year old boy who rarely does as he is told at home. His behaviour becomes worse when I ask him to brush his teeth for bed, have a shower or even get ready for bed.

He behaves perfect at school but when the evening comes he becomes a different person. he is very stubborn and as he is getting older he is becoming more confident in answering back. In the end I have to just leave him in his room and he goes to sleep without getting ready for bed.

I have tried everything. Star chart, loosing out on trips with the cubs and other activities.

Any ideas from people who have succesfully been through this? I have a 13 year daughter who was never this bad!!

Thanks.

Re: Behaviour problems 9 year old boy at home

My son is grown up now, but whenever there were problems, the school advised me to sit at the end of his bed at bedtime and start a conversation, then just listen to him for 15 mins or so, almost without interruption, just listen. Once children feel listened to, and this avenue is open to them, they often calm down. This needs to be done on a regular basis and is very therapeutic and you can learn a great deal about your child. Good luck.