I have an 11 yo boy. He has always been a handful (for me). With everyone else, he is fine, so i know that there are really no underlying conditions (i think). Everything i ask him to do is a battle. Nothing is done willingly, unless it suits him. Schoolwork - well forget the one. To try to get him to do homework or even read a book is traumatic. I really do feel like giving up.I must admit, my discipline can be flimsy sometimes, purely because i feel so guilty when punishing him. But i do punish him, he quite often has things taken away from him, or is grounded etc. And yes, i have used praise and rewards. Does he learn? Clearly not. I am on an emotional rollercoaster. I love him dearly, yet dislike him so much too. All i want is for us to have a lovely time, have fun, and enjoy each others company. He has a sister who is 18. She is adorable and always has been. I have brought them up with the same values and discipline, so where oh where have i gone wrong? Can anyone else identify with this??
Boys are strange aren't they!! My son is grown up now, but when he was much younger his school advised me to sit at the end of his bed at bedtime and start a conversation with him and then let him talk and you just listen, almost without interruption for about 15 mins, do this on a regular basis and this can often make children feel more secure and settled. Hope this helps. My son was an awful handful until he was in his 20's but he is a delightful young man and I couldn't wish for a better son, but it was a struggle getting there.