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potty training and screaming

My husband and I are going through adivorce. I just resently lost my job. so we have some emotional issues. My son is 3, will be 4 this may. He has been potty trained for about a year, never even wets himself at night. but he refuses to poop in the toilet. I have tryed every thing, now his ped. said to put him back in dipairs, is there any thing else. He holds it and waits to get off the potty and then goes in his pants. Now this month he has strated screaming at me when he doesn't get his way, and screaming no every time I ask him to do something. I have been just using time outs but I dont know what else to do