I hope somebody can offer some advice or guidance reference this.
My 3yr old boy is I would say generally well behaved, he is a typical rough and tumble boy. Currently an only child!
However there are some issues which i am not sure are normal:
- Very hesitant to try new things.
- Has been at preschool now for three terms and has only just started to share or interact with the other children, he is an only child but he has always been surrounded by children of the same age. He only tends to play in the garden at school and will not join in with creative sessions or music sessions( At home he loves to be creative and plays with musical instruments) His teachers say he's ok but i'm not convinced.
- He shys away from parties, he'll just stand by the door and not socialise.
- He will not eat at family events, even if they are held in familiar surroundings such as his grandmas (even though he eats there at least once a week). Especially at family events he behaves badly, spends most of his time on 'time out' usually due to hitting or kicking.
-He can't seem tolerate changes to his routine, (I don't run a tight schedule but if i change anything it triggers bad behaviour, refusing to co-operate, get dressed).
-If you play blocks or lego, buildings etc have to be made in certain colour blocks or one colour, they can not be mixed. Often have to make the same design/building over and over again.
-Loves puzzles, its almost like he has a photographic memory.
-He seems to remember everything.
- Absolutely will not share, this definitely brings out the worst in him.
- If playing with him, you are only allowed to touch certain trucks etc with his permission.
- He will only wear long sleeved t shirts, he will scream if you try to put a shirt on him.
- Will only eat with a certain set of cutlery. Same goes with his drink cup, new shoes, new coats.
- His father has socialising issues, he's an engineer and has been advised that he may have aspergers, could this be why our boy is like this.
Is this normal? Everyone elses little boys seem so
well behaved and don't appear to have any issues.
Hi,
Yes, maybe your suspicions are right, but it is very early days. Your child is only 3. The behaviour he is showing could indicate different issues. You said he is learning to share.... well that's good for a 3 year old. Many children are hesitant to try new things. That could be personality. My youngest hated parties when she was this age.... but now at 10 she loves them. My youngest remembered everything.... she was just very able.
I suggest you keep an open mind.... My middle child showed symptoms of something when he was pre-school. We thought it might be adhd, but after talking with his Montesorri supervisor discounted that. In the end we realised he has dyspraxia.... So just keep an open mind. Talk to be people who care for him (pre-school teachers).... read up on things and wait and see.
A word of warning- my son went to 2 pre-school settings. One thought he was just a 'normal' boy.... the other thought about our concerns and said 'No- it's not adhd- he can concentrate on things he want to'. She set us to thinking about dyspraxia and she was right in the end......
My daughter also has apergers and you describe her behavior at that age. But be careful, you could be seeing things into his behavior because you live with it through his dad so you are more aware of it than other parents might be. You could say his not eating at grandmas, for instance, is due to him not liking having to share the attention and thats a typical way for a young child to ensure it stays on them. Individually all your concerns could have simple answers like that. Agree with Nicki (as usual!), talk to other people who care for him and see what they think, thats usually a good guide as to whether we're reading too much into something or not.
I will keep an open mind, observe carefully and talk to his teachers.
I guess this is not something that can be rushed, time will tell. It would be nice to know how his mind works so that i could help him enjoy life to the max!
