We asked our children what they wanted to do. When my children were little (7, 5 and 3) there Grandmother died. The 7 year old went. She was very close to her grandmother and we discussed it with her. We talked about why people were sad and people would be crying etc. She was great. We decided the 3 year old was too young and our son, 5, chose not to go. My Dad died a year ago... the children were 8 , 10 and 13 when that happened. There were 2 services.... one at the crem and one to remember his life, afterwards in the church. Again, the 8 and 10 year old chose not to go to the crem, together with the 10 year old cousin. We encouraged them all to go to the memorial service ... to get closure and there was a tribute to my Dad from his grandchildren being read out. They were great... I feel children need to know the facts about death... but also to be given a choice about whether to go to funerals or not. If they are told the facts, they are able to make a decision. It also depends opn how well they knew the person who died. A 5 year old might not want to sit through a service for someone they didn't know!!!!