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Re: Funerals for children


I took my daughter to a funeral (my grandfather) when she was 6, and she managed really well - it helped her to know why the people around her were feeling so sad, and allowed her to ask questions about any worries she had.

Another thing to consider is how she would feel if she were "left out" of this - when my grandmother died, I was 7 years old and was kept away from the funeral "for my own good". It felt terrible to me (for a number of years) to be kept away from the chance to say goodbye, and cry with others who were upset.

I think only you can judge whether your daughter can use this experience well, or whether is would make her fearful of something she cannot deal with yet. You could try talking through the whole thing before the funeral and asking her whether she wants to be there?

Sorry if this doesn't answer your question as well as you wanted it to!


Re: Funerals for children

We asked our children what they wanted to do. When my children were little (7, 5 and 3) there Grandmother died. The 7 year old went. She was very close to her grandmother and we discussed it with her. We talked about why people were sad and people would be crying etc. She was great. We decided the 3 year old was too young and our son, 5, chose not to go. My Dad died a year ago... the children were 8 , 10 and 13 when that happened. There were 2 services.... one at the crem and one to remember his life, afterwards in the church. Again, the 8 and 10 year old chose not to go to the crem, together with the 10 year old cousin. We encouraged them all to go to the memorial service ... to get closure and there was a tribute to my Dad from his grandchildren being read out. They were great... I feel children need to know the facts about death... but also to be given a choice about whether to go to funerals or not. If they are told the facts, they are able to make a decision. It also depends opn how well they knew the person who died. A 5 year old might not want to sit through a service for someone they didn't know!!!!