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Getting my 3 year old to bed

Help! I have 3 boy's aged 3,9 & 12 so I should know what I'm doing by now 3 year old won't go to sleep unless I am with him.He has no bedtime routine (although the other two have)and I end up shouting at everybody in my desperation to get him settled (I know, screaming does not equal sleep)My problem began when my first child (a girl) was born with severe congenital heart deformities.I let her fall asleep in my arms and carried her up to bed as i was terrified she'd stop breathing if I took my eyes off her.She died 11 years ago but I have continued this bedtime approach ever since and I am now in a mess.I realise my strong little son is not like his sister but part of me is so afraid that I have allowed myself to get into this muddle.Help!

Re: Getting my 3 year old to bed

hello- sorry to hear about your trouble i am the same with my 3 year old, he use to go to bed about 10, then slowly it was getting earlier and earlier, now he is asleep by 9 and sometimes sooner, i would put his favourite film on (dvd normally0 bob the builder) and because the dvd kept replaying over and over again he felt bored and went to sleep, syaing this tho he will fall asleep where ever the dvd is being played than my partner would put him in his bed- i would try putting a fiml on that he likes in his bedroom and see how that goes, even sitting with him for a while may help!